翻译：hardstick 校订：hardstick
弥撒
我知道 我晚了 I'm late, I know.
呃 Huh.
有人打电话来吗？ Did anyone call?
没有 No.
肯德拉没有打来吗？ Kendra didn't call?
没有 一个都没有 No. No one.
那就好 That's good.
我儿子今天上午有个比赛 My son had a game this morning,
他让我等他父亲一起去那里 and he wanted me to wait for his dad to get there,
我碰上了塞车和交通事故... and then I got caught in some traffic or an accident...
你出车祸了？ You got in an accident?
什么？不 我被交通事故给堵住了 What? No, I got stuck in the traffic of an accident.
你在做什么？ What are you doing?
洗盘子 Dishes.
好吧 嗯 你能来帮我布置一下吗？ Okay. Well, can you come help me set up?
我们需要布置什么? What do we need to set up?
布置一间会议室 The room, for the meeting.
为什么你要洗盘子？ Why are you doing dishes?
今天早晨就没人清洗过 No one cleaned up from this morning.
哦 我很抱歉 Oh, I'm so sorry.
你很负责任… That's very responsible of you to...
是的 我们得让他们自己收拾 Yeah. We got to tell them to clean up after themselves.
我…我确实告诉过他们 I... I definitely did tell them that.
谁…这是谁? AA？ What... Who was it? AA?
不 匿名戒酒协会 AA他们自己会清理的 No, Al-Anon.AA cleans up after themselves.
好吧 你能不能… Okay. Well, can you, uh...
要不你晚点再去 How about you do that a little bit later
然后…你要来帮我布置房间吗? and what... You wanna come help me set up this room?
我想在肯德拉来之前布置好 I wanna set it up before Kendra gets here.
好的 Okay.
过来 帮我把桌子拉出来 Here. Help me pull out this table.
好的 Okay.
哦 小心 小心 小心 Oh, careful. Careful, careful.
哦 对不起 Oh, sorry.
让我们来看看 再把它居中一点 Let's see.Center it a little more.
好了 Okay.
嗨 Hi.
你好 嗨 Hello. Hi.
-是朱迪吧？-是的 - Judy?- Yes.
肯德拉.卡特 请随便点儿 Kendra Carter. Pleasure.
嗯 这非常好 Well, this is very nice.
非常感谢 我们也这么认为 Thank you so much.We think so too.
现在大多数人都开车往北去圣托马斯 Most people just drive north to St. Thomas these days,
但我们在这里有很多事可做 but we find plenty to do here.
那么他们将在哪里会面? So where will they be meeting?
哦 嗯,是的 我不好意思 Oh. Um, right. I'm sorry.
我花的时间太长了 I'm taking too long.
对不起 我无意冒犯 我只是... Sorry. I don't mean to be rude, I just...
不 不 不 你没有冒昧 这是... No, no, no, you're not being rude. This is...
这是一个非常好的问题 That's a really wonderful question.
他们在楼下的一个房间里 They're in a room downstairs.
跟我来 Here, follow me.
我们通常在这里开会 We usually have meetings down here,
但本堂牧师觉得 but the reverend thought
他们可能需要点私人空间 they might need a little more privacy,
所以我们把他们安排在后面 so we're gonna put them in the back.
只要你觉得这样最好就行 Well, if you think it's best.
我觉得 我觉得 I do. I do.
我觉得这里再亮一些就更好... I think it's lighter,it has better...
这里更好些 You know, it's nicer.
琳达同意了吗？ And Linda approved it?
我从来没见过琳达 I've never actually met Linda.
她不是本郊区的居民 所以... She's not a parishioner here. So...
拿它看过这些了吗？ But she's seen it?
嗯 她私下和牧师见了面 Um, well, she met with the reverend here privately,
呃 有几次了 uh, several times.
所以我猜是她干的 So I'm assuming that she did.
-呃...-噢 - Uh...- Oh.
我们能听到后面的音乐吗？ Will we hear this music back there?
啊呀 是的 这还真是个问题 Oh, shoot.Yeah, that's a problem.
如果有可能 他们能停下来吗？ It might be. Can they stop?
呃 他们今天在上课 Uh, they have lessons today.
我们就不能把门关上吗？ Can't we just close the doors?
我不想让它分散你的注意力 I don't want it to be a distraction.
你知道吗？我正要跟他们说这事儿 You know what?I'm gonna talk to them.
-这会好的 -谢谢你 - It'll be fine.- Thank you.
应该的 你想看看房间吗 Absolutely. Uh, do you want to see the room?
-好的 请带路 -好的 - Yes, please.- Okay.
你觉得如何？ What do you think?
这里比较好 It's better back here.
哦 对了 Oh, right.
对不起 我被告知建筑物里不会有人 Sorry. I was told no one would be in the building is all.
啊 是的 呃 我很抱歉 Oh, yeah. Um, I'm sorry.
我们通常让他们在这里活动 We usually have them practice down here.
但是他们…我们把他们转移到了教堂室内 But they're... We moved them to the church.
好吧 还有人在吗？ Okay, so will anyone else be in here?
唱诗班在为明天排练 The choir's rehearsing for tomorrow.
哦,对了 很抱歉我把椅子挪了 Oh, right. I'm so sorry that I moved the chairs.
哦 不 这样挺好 Oh, no, it's fine.
但他们此时正在教堂排练吗？ But they're rehearsing up in the church though?
是的 Yeah.
这不成问题 That should be fine.
安东尼 你能下楼 Anthony, can you,um, go downstairs
把我带来的零食拿上来 and get the snacks that I brought and bring them up
放在那边的桌子上吗? and set them up on the far table over there?
谢谢你 Thank you.
房间还好吧？ But the room's okay?
我想是 I think so.
那就好 Great.
我们买了一些百吉饼 一些水 还有咖啡 We got some bagels and some water and, um, coffee.
我要煮一些很棒的咖啡 I'm gonna make some great coffee.
这是个好主意 That's a nice idea.
好的 嗯 还有...那些椅子 Okay. Um, and the... Sorry about the chairs,
-这张桌子没问题吧？-桌子？ - but the table is okay?- The table?
桌子的摆放对你有好处吗？ The placement of the table is good for you?
-这跟好 -为了...？ - It's fine.- For the...?
好的 没问题 Okay. Great.
那就很好 That's great.
桌子的位置很好 Placement of the table's great.
你们准备纸巾了吗？那种纸巾盒？ Do you have tissues? Like a tissue box?
是的 我们这里有一些 Yeah, we have some right over here.
真是个好主意 当然要有 That's a really great idea.Of course.
你看 我们现在就准备了 嗯… All right. Now we're getting somewhere. Um...
有多少人要来? How many people are coming, again?
-为什么？-他们有四个人 - Why?- There'll be four of them.
你有好多吃的 You got, like, a lot of food.
我不认为他们会吃的 I don't think they'll be eating.
-哦 对不起 我以为…-这是什么 - Oh, I'm sorry. I thought...- What's this?
这是我的午餐 你可以把它放回去 嗯… That's my lunch.You can put that away. Um...
对不起 我想我应该吃点东西 Sorry. I thought that I should have some food.
是的,不,不 这是一个很好的想法 Yeah, no, no.It's a really nice thought.
我只是...我不认为我们应该把这些东西都摆出来 I just... I don't think we need to put all of that out.
-这是...我们不应该这样做 -好的 - It's... We shouldn't.- Right.
好吧 Right. Okay.
你们和这些家庭合作多久了？ So how long have you worked with the families?
-安东尼 这...-怎么了？ - Anthony. That...- What?
这没关系 That's okay.
只是一个家庭 Just the one family.
到现在已经有六年了 But six years now.
-哇呜 -哦 哇呜 - Wow.- Oh, wow.
你在…之前和那些家合作过吗? Were you working with the family before the...?
不 不 不 我们就是这样认识的 No, no, no. It's how we met.
-我们能移动一下这个吗？-好的 没问题 - Can we move these?- Yes, absolutely.
-谢谢你 -他们以前做过这样的活动吗？ - Thank you.- Have they done this before?
安东尼 这不关你的事 Anthony, that's none of our business.
你打印好明天要用的稿件了吗？ Have you printed out for tomorrow?
-我打好了 -好吧 - I did.- Okay,
那你给它们折叠好了吗？ did you fold for tomorrow?
-我很抱歉他这样 -不用 他很好 - Sorry about him.- No, he's fine.
我们本来打算给他放一天假的 We were gonna give him the day off,
但他的家人 他们真的需要让他来帮忙 but then his family, they really need to keep him busy.
你不用解释 You don't need to explain.
你这是太善良了 Okay, that's good of you.
我是说 他平时还是挺热心的 I mean, he's really sweet,most of the time.
但他不是一般的教会义工 But he's not your typical,uh, church employee.
但话说回来 我们都是圣公会教徒 But then again,we are Episcopalian.
抱歉 这只是基督教的幽默 Sorry, that's just a little Christian humor.
不 别放在中间 Oh, no, don't put it in the center.
-哦 -这看起来有点儿怪 - Oh.- It looks freaky.
呃 把它放在一边或者后面 Uh, put it to the side or maybe back over there,
他们能看到就行了 但你要知道… so they see it,but you know...
没错 我很抱歉 当然可以 Right. I'm sorry. Of course.
那么,…?你是要在这里和他们 So where...? Are you gonna be doing all of this
一起做这些 还是…? in here with them or...?
不 他们已经 呃 他们已经同意单独进行 No, they've, uh,they've agreed to be alone.
你可以和我们一起去 Well, um, you can come hang with us.
我们,呃……我们的房间很大 We're, um...We have a lot of room
无线网络也很好 and we have great Wi-Fi.
我有几个电话要打 Um, I have a few calls I need to make
所以我可能会在车上工作 so I'll probably just work from the car.
哦 不 那太遗憾了 你应该和我们待在一起 Oh, no, that's sad.You should stay with us.
牧师的整个办公室都归你了 You can have the reverend's whole office.
好吧 我们会想办法的 Oh, okay, we'll figure it out.
-好吧 -嗯... - Okay.- Um...
这些是什么？ What are these?
哦,是的 那些不是很整洁吗？ Oh, yeah.Aren't those really neat?
那是学校的作业 应该是 That was a school project.It's supposed to be
彩色玻璃的 stained glass.
有什么不妥吗？ Is there something wrong?
哦 Oh.
没错 Right.
这很好 你知道吗？ It's fine. You know what?
我…我要出去打个电话 行吗？ I'm... I'm gonna step out and make a call. Okay?
-没问题 -谢谢 - Sure, yes.- Thanks.
是的 请便 Yes, please. Take your time.
好的,就这样了 我们走 Okay, that's it. Here we are.
我知道 开车吧 I know. Keep driving.
什么？ What?
只是…我不是…不过现在 Just... I'm not... Not now.
还没准备 开车 I'm not ready yet.Just keep driving.
我不知道我们去哪儿 I don't know where we are.
随便什么地方 离开就行 开车吧 Anywhere. Just go. Just drive.
停在那个角落 就在那儿 Pull up around the corner there, over there somewhere.
-走吧！-好的 好的 - Just go!- Okay. Okay.
嗨,琳达 没有问题 我来了 占用你点儿时间 Hi, Linda. No problem.I'm here. Take your time.
你和理查德谈过了吗？ Have you spoken with Richard?
我们到底在这里做什么？ What the hell are we doing here?
你没事吧 Are you gonna be all right?
亲爱的？ Honey?
我不知道 I don't know.
-好吧 -不 我不知道我是否能... - Okay.- No, I don't know if I can...
我不知道我能不能做到 I don't know if I can do it.
那么 我们不必这样 Well, we don't have to.
我们本可以掉头回去 离开这里 We could just turn around and leave.
如果这是你想要的 If that's what you want.
不 No.
我是说 我不认为我能说出这个 I mean, I don't think I can say it.
好吧 Okay.
那你也知道 你不必如此 Well, you know,you don't have to.
我们可以只去那里 We could just go there
并听听他们要说的 and listen to what they have to say.
你不需要做任何你不想做的事 You don't have to do anything you don't want to do.
行吗？ All right?
如果我说不出来 你能说吗？ If I don't, would you?
对不起 这有点儿不公平 I'm sorry. That's not fair.
不 这是...你知道 这不是... No, it's...You know, it's not...
我不愿意 但是... I wouldn't, but...
来吧 你想回去吗？ Come on.Are you ready to go back?
好吧 Okay.
好的 All right.
当然了 在我明天完事后 Absolutely.We can discuss that
回去我们会讨论这个问题的 when I get back day after tomorrow.
哦 天呐 Oh, dear.
是佩里夫妇吗？ Mr. and Mrs. Perry?
请叫我 杰伊 肯德拉在吗？ Jay, please. Kendra?
在 Yes.
盖尔？ Gail?
你好 Hi.
-你好 杰伊.佩里 -哦 嗨 - Hi. Jay Perry.- Oh, hi.
-这位是我的妻子 盖尔 -我是朱迪 - This is my wife, Gail.- My name is Judy.
-你好 -嗨 朱迪 - Hello.- Hi, Judy.
-你好 -我是杰伊 - Hi.- I'm Jay.
你们好 谢谢你们能来 Hi. Thank you so much for coming.
谢谢你给我们提供这个地方 Thank you for, uh,providing the space.
哦 不用客气 我们很乐意提供帮助 Oh, absolutely.We're so happy we could help.
我们把你们都安排在后面了 Well, we have you all set up right back here.
哦 是的 我没还有些吃的.... Oh, yeah. We have some food...
太好了 Great.
...一些咖啡 和一些水 你还要什么东西吗？ ...and some coffee, and some water. Do y'all want anything?
我想我们现在很好 对吗？ I think we're good for now. Right?
我很好 I'm fine.
-谢谢你 朱迪 -是的 谢谢你了 - Thank you, Judy.- Yeah, thank you.
是不是…你想让我带你看看那个地方吗？ Should... Do you want me to show you the space?
不用了 我将带你们去看看 谢谢你 No, I'll show them. Thank you.
好了,好了 很高兴见到你们两个 非常高兴 Okay, great. It's so lovely to meet both of you, so much.
-谢谢你 -你们跟我来 - Thank you.- You can follow me.
等在这儿 Right here.
这个屋子适合你们吗？ Is the room okay for you?
呃... Uh...
桌子 椅子 Table, chairs,
还有耶稣注释着我们 Jesus watching us.
很好 It's great.
好吧 那么 我知道 Okay. Well, I know
我们已经知道你们都签好了一切东西 we've gotten your signatures on everything,
至于你们所关心的办公室 and you're all squared away
我们也已经准备好了 as far as our offices are concerned.
但是…既然只有我们三个人 But... while it's just the three of us,
你们有什么想问我的吗? is there anything you want to ask me?
我想我们没问题 I think we're okay.
他们很快就到吗？ Will they be here soon?
我只想和他们谈 I just spoke with them.
他们应该马上就到 They should be here any minute.
-哦 -你们是否需要我 - Oh.- Would you be okay
给你们点时间单独谈谈？ if I left you alone for just a bit?
当然了 是的 Absolutely. Sure.
我马上回来 I'll be right back.
嗨 不 我在外面呢 Hi. No, I'm outside.
哦 我...我看见你了 Oh, I... I see you.
我们马上就开始 We're right in here.
-你好 -嗨 - Hello.- Hi.
理查德 琳达 这是佩里夫妇 杰伊和盖尔 Richard, Linda, this is Jay and Gail Perry.
我们以前见过面 在很久以前 We've met, actually.It was a long time ago.
你们怎么样？ How are you?
是的 我们很好 谢谢 Yeah, we're fine. Thanks.
你等了很久了吗？ Have you been waiting long?
不 我们刚到 我们还没坐下呢 No, we just got here.We haven't even sat down.
这房间怎么样？行吗？ How's the room? Okay?
-很好 -我也是 - It's fine.- I thought so.
盖尔？ Gail?
我很好 I'm fine.
好的 Okay, good.
我给你们带来这个 I brought these for you.
哦 哦 Oh. Oh.
-我很抱歉 -不 它们... - I'm sorry.- No, they're...
有点儿小 Small.
不 它们很漂亮 谢谢你们 No, they're very nice.Thank you.
我们坐下谈吧？ Should we sit?
是的 我们坐下来吧 Yeah, let's take a seat.
脱下你的外套吗？ Take your coat?
嗯 我们已经...我们已经说过了 Well, we've... we've spoken.
是的 我们都做好准备了 Yeah, we're all sorted.
是的 我们都搞定了 We are. Yes.
我很高兴终于看到你们聚在一起了 Well, I'm grateful to see you all together finally.
我能这么说吗？ May I say that?
我希望我们都认为 And I'm hopeful that we all think
这是一件好事 that this was a good thing to do
在我们今天离开这里之前 by the time we leave here today.
这样行吗？ Is that okay?
-好的 -谢谢你 肯德拉 - Yes.- Thanks, Kendra.
那好吧 我就留你们单独在一起 All right, well,I'm going to leave you alone.
需要什么就告诉我 Let me know if you need anything.
很高兴能见到你们双方 Nice to meet you both.
-也高兴见到你 -嗯-嗯 - You too.- Mmm-hmm.
也许你想要这个... You wanna maybe just...
这些花都很漂亮 These are nice.
谢谢你 Thank you.
我本来想带一些东西过来 I wanted to bring something.
呃 我就挑了一样能用的 Uh, I tried to pick what's available
又符合时令 又不是很贵 or seasonal, which isn't much.
-这些花是你种的？-是的 也算是我的新的业余爱好 - You made this?- Yeah. Sort of a new hobby.
噢 Oh.
谢谢你 Thank you.
不客气 Sure.
我很抱歉 只是...我不想失礼 I'm sorry. Just...I don't want to be rude.
我们能不能在谈话的时候 But could we just, like,while we're talking,
-把这些放到旁边？-当然可以 - just put these somewhere?- Of course.
-不 不 不 我来拿走 -好的 - No, no, no, I'll take it.- Okay.
-我很抱歉 -不是 - I'm so sorry.- No.
-谢谢你 -噢 别客气 - Thank you.- Oh, sure.
你们也知道...好吧 You know that... Okay.
你们来这路上怎么样？ How was your trip down here?
开车 我们开车来的 是的 还行 Drive. We drove.Yeah. It was fine.
你们开车还是...？ Did you drive or...?
我昨晚坐飞机来的 我今天下午就走 I flew in last night.I'm leaving this afternoon.
噢 好的 很好 Oh, okay. Right.
你们今晚开车回去还是...? Will you be driving back tonight or...?
我们有房间 旅馆也安排好了 We have a room,hotel arranged,
但我们可能不想在这里过夜 but we may not want to stay over.
-回去吗？-没错 - Head back? - Right.
所以 嗯 谢谢你们同意和我们见面 So, um, look, thank you for agreeing to meet us
并且一起谈谈 and together.
噢 你不用客气 Oh, you're welcome.
我在来这里的途中 还一直感谢你们所有的人 I appreciate you, all of you,making the journey.
我知道我不容易接近 I know I'm not easy to get to.
我们很高兴来这里会见你们 琳达 We're happy to come to you, Linda.
我想说 是的 还有我 呃... I mean, yes, and I, uh...
我们想先说 We want to start by saying that
我们为之前说过的话感到后悔 we, uh, regret some of the things that we said.
哦 不要 不要后悔 Oh, don't, don't be regretful.
我们希望我们不用这么依赖我们的律师 We wish we didn't have to rely so much on our attorneys.
但现在我只是想保护我们的儿子 But, uh, now it's really just to protect our son.
-史蒂文 -嗯 - Steven.- Mmm.
是的 他现在怎么样？ Yeah. How's he doing?
他现在很好 谢谢你的关心 He's doing very well.Thank you for asking.
他们现在在巴尔的摩 离我不远 They're in Baltimore now,not far from me.
他们小两口马上就要生孩子了 They have a little boy on the way.
那很好 That's great.
谢谢你！苏菲怎么样了? Thank you. And how is Sophie?
-你们的女儿怎么样？-她还是 呃... - How's your daughter?- She's, uh...
-她很好 -她好多了 - She's doing fine.- She's much better.
她去年进步很大 She's made a lot of progress the last year.
她现在在考虑 She's looking at, uh,
申请学校 大学 秋季入学 applying to schools now,college, for the fall.
噢 这很棒啊 Oh, that's wonderful.
-这很好 -谢谢你 - That's great.- Thanks.
这很好 这很好 That's great.That's great.
-是的 -是的 - Yeah.- Yeah.
嗯... Um...
你们来有带照片或其它什么的吗？ Did you guys bring photos or...?
是的 是的 我... Yes, yes. I...
我们说过 也许… There was some talk of maybe, uh...
分享一下会很好 我不知道会怎样 it would be good to share them. I don't know.
盖尔 你想要....? Gail, do you wanna...?
我还带了其他东西来分享 And I also brought other things to share.
是的 肯德拉说你可以这么做 真的 Yep. Kendra said you might do that. Sure.
好的 很好 Okay, good.
我不知道现在是否适合… I don't know if this is a good time for...
你想等他们走了再说吗？ Do you wanna wait till they go?
不 我没事 No. I'm okay.
没有?好吧 也许我们应该… No? Okay, so maybe we should just...
不 我们同意了,所以…在这里 No. We agreed, so... here.
在这里 这是索菲娅 Here. This is Sophie.
-噢 -哦 - Oh.- Oh.
-哦,她很漂亮 -哦 她现在是个年轻姑娘了 - Oh, she's beautiful.- Oh, she's a young lady now.
是的 她长大了很多 Yeah.She's grown up a lot.
哦 哦 Oh, oh.
是的 Yeah.
-哦 -还有这个 呃... - Oh.- And this is, uh...
我喜欢看见他们 I'd like to see them.
好的 Okay.
这是埃文三岁的时候 This is Evan when he was three.
-哦 我的上帝 -他拿的是什么 - Oh, my goodness.- What's he got there?
-他很可爱 -真是 呃... - He's so sweet.- It's, uh...
就是那种 呃 滚轮什么的… It's one of those,uh, roller thing...
把它推到任何地方 Push that thing everywhere
球就会弹起 就会爆开 and balls would bounce,would pop.
他们会跳出来 是的 是的 They'd pop out of it,yeah. Yeah.
哦 对了 我记得那些 Oh, right,I remember those.
是的 是的 Yeah, yeah.
你有…他那张接球手照片吗？ Do you have the...his catcher picture?
有没有带接球手的照片来？ Bring the catcher picture?
是的 我们带了 我们带了那张照片 Yeah, we have it.We brought it.
好的 你想...？ Okay. You wanna...?
哦 在这呢 Oh. Here it is.
我想当时他只有12岁 参加少年联盟赛 I think he was about 12.Little League.
哦 Oh.
他是一名好运动员 不是吗？ He was a good athlete, wasn't he?
是的 他很擅长运动 Yeah, he was really good at sports.
你们看他 Look at him.
我是说 他喜欢很多活动 I mean, he liked a lot of things.
他算是那种... He was, you know...
例如乐队歌手 模拟联合国等 很多活动 Sung in a band, Model UN,a lot of stuff.
不过 他的确是个好运动员 But, yeah, he was a very good athlete.
哦 Oh.
那个...有个好玩的事儿 就是那接球手的全套装备... The... It's a funny thing,but the catcher outfit...
他并不想当接球手 He didn't want to play catcher.
他只是喜欢那套装备 He just liked the gear.
哦 他喜欢那全套装备 Oh, he liked the gear.
-是的 -哦 - Yeah.- Oh.
那么 嗯 我们每人都有一份吗?或者... So, um, do we have one of all of us, or...?
当然了 有很多 Of course. Lots.
我们不得不打印出许多照片 We had to print a lot of photos out.
现在没人还会要什么照片了 Nobody has photographs anymore.
-我说的对吗？-是的 - Right?- Yeah.
拿着实物感觉真好 不仅仅是 你们懂的… It's nice to hold something.Not just, you know...
-这是 -也就是我们 - It is.- This is us.
-那是...-那是去年圣诞节照的 - That's...- That's the last Christmas.
是啊 我们总是…我们让他们都打扮起来 Yeah, we were always...We made them all dress up.
我们总说“Cheesy” 我们不说“茄子” Cheesy, we're saying there.We're not saying cheese.
我们家从不这么说 Our family never did.
因此他们认为我们很愚蠢...这真荒谬 They thought we were so stupid because... Ridiculous.
我对不起 I'm sorry.
-没事了 -是的 - It's okay.- Yeah.
-不 我还是很抱歉 -给你 - No, I'm sorry.- Here.
不 别这样 琳达 No, don't be, Linda.
不 不 也许我们应该... No, no, maybe we should...
-好吧 -我也想分享这些 - Okay.- I wanted to share too.
不 我也想分享我们的 但是… No, I wanted to share ours too, but...
这太难了 It's hard.
是的 It is.
亲爱的？ Honey?
谢谢你 Thank you.
我很抱歉 I'm sorry.
我... I...
我能给你看点东西吗？ If I could just show you something?
不 我们不必如此 No, we don't have to.
-不必？-不 不 不 不 - No?- No, no, no, no.
也许这不是个好主意 Maybe it wasn't a good idea.
不 我想这样 No, I want to.
我带了些东西 I brought something.
呃,这是更简单些 但不是照片 Uh, it's easier.It's not photos.
这样可以吗 盖尔? But is that okay, Gail?
没问题 Sure.
行 挺好 Okay. Right.
那 这就是... So, this is...
哦 哇呜 Oh, wow.
好呀 Yeah.
他以前总是带着这个东西 He used to carry this all the time.
什么时候？大约在四、五年级时 对吗？ When? Fourth and fifth grade, right?
不 比那时还小 No, younger than that.
我在看什么 What am I looking at?
他以前喜欢收集蜗牛 Well, he used to love to collect snails.
他只是对蜗牛着了迷 He was just fascinated by snails.
他会把它们收集到这个罐子里 And he would collect them in this jar.
无论他走到哪里 他都会带着它们 And he would carry them around with him wherever he went.
但是,嗯,这些孩子…我觉得很奇怪 But, um, kids...thought it was weird.
那时真是很小 It was, a little.
他就是喜欢它们 He just loved them.
但却以给它们造点儿小麻烦的方式来表现 But there were problems with keeping them this way.
他有时也会生气 He would just get so upset, you know.
当这些蜗牛掉下来的时候 就会...不说了 And when snails break,it's... No.
有一天 他带着这个来了 So one day,he showed up with this.
纸蜗型道 看到了吗？ Paper snails. See?
-看到了 -这里有叶子和花 - Yeah.- There's leaves and a flower.
而这个 我认为是块石头 And I think this is a rock.
呃-哈 Uh-huh.
-这是个蜗牛乐园 -是的 - It's a garden for the snails.- Right.
然后他说 “用这种方法 它们就不会死了” And he said,"This way, they won't die."
我觉得这非常 非常精巧 I think it's so, so clever.
是的 Yeah, that is.
我想这个...我认为是的 I thought it...I thought it was.
当我有了我的担忧时... And then when I had my concerns...
你有吗？ You did?
哦 不是... Oh, not...
关于他的敏感性 About his sensitivity.
是的 Yeah.
不过 我真的很高兴他能… Although, really,I was happy for him to...
找到解决方法 Find a solution.
他总是决心要找到一个解决办法 He was always determined to find a solution.
是的 我很高兴他这样 Yeah. I was happy that he was.
谢谢你们 Well, thank you.
谢谢你 Thank you
-分享给我们这些 琳达 -好的 - for sharing that, Linda.- Yeah.
我只是想给你看点东西 I just wanted to, um,show you something.
-嗯嗯 -那个... Mmm-hmm.- The...
所以,你们的女儿 她过得很好吗？ So, your daughter.She's doing well?
-是的 -她现在很好 - Yeah.- She's doing well, yes.
是的 她会好的 是的 Yeah, she's gonna be fine. Yeah.
她比以前更善于交际了 She's a lot more sociable than she was.
或她的,嗯……事实上 我们很想念她 Or she's, um... Actually, we miss her.
现在 她离家太久了 Now, she's out too much.
她在约会 She's dating.
我不知道她是不是真的… I don't know if she's actually...
她是在约会 She's dating.
哦 好了 就是这样 所以她… Oh. Well, there you go.So she's, uh...
是的 Yeah.
她开始变得更像自己了 She's starting to be a lot more herself.
哦 这很好啊 Oh. That's wonderful.
是的 她进步很多 Yeah. She's made a lot of progress.
哦 太好了 Oh. That's wonderful.
你在信中 You mentioned to Linda
向琳达提及 你也取得了 that you've made some progress yourself, um,
很多进步 in your letters.
是一位心理治疗师吗？ A therapist?
哦 对不起 我跟他分享这个 Oh, I'm sorry,I did share that.
我确实告诉他这个消息 I did share it with him.
她就是提了一句 She just mentioned.
你说你找到了一个会… Um, you mentioned that you found someone who's been...
是的 她是会有帮助的 没错的 Yes, she's been very helpful.That's right.
那很好 That's good.
是的 那是...她是...她是... Yeah, that's...She's... She was...
就是她 让我们来这里的 Well, she is a big reason why we're here.
那么 你们俩都见过她了 Okay, so you both see her.
那么 嗯... Well, um...
-我们都见过 -好的 - We do.- Yeah.
是的 是的 Yeah. Yeah.
她鼓励我们今天要表达自己 And she has encouraged us to express ourselves today,
但不要质问 这很重要 but not to interrogate,that's important,
要有好奇心 而不是抵御性… to be curious,and not defensive...
更不要有复仇心理 Not vindictive.
-她说的是“报复心”-不是抵御性吗？ - She said "vindictive."- Not defensive?
不是 如果我们有报复心的话 No, if we are vindictive.
那好 对不起 All right. Sorry.
这没关系 It doesn't matter.
重点是 我们不是来攻击你们的 The point is that we're not here to attack you,
我们已经保证过了 and we've promised that.
但我们已经感受到了 我们所说的一切 But we've felt everything that we've said.
对吗？我们不是... Right? We're not...
我们不是为了我们的感受来道歉的 We're not going to apologize for our feelings.
谢谢你们的诚恳 Thank you for your honesty.
我们想倾听 We want to listen,
我们想康复过来 and we want to heal.
当然 Of course.
你要知道 你的信 You know, your letters
对我很重要 meant so much to me.
即使是言辞最苛刻的 我也是… Even the hard ones,I really...
我真的很感激它们 I really appreciate them.
我们可以看出你已经做了很多工作 并将继续做下去 We can tell that you've done a lot of work, continue to,
我指的不仅仅是你公开做的那些工作 and I don't just mean what you've done publicly.
但你们的表现令人钦佩 But it is admirable how you put yourselves out there.
事实上 琳达和我 Uh, we actually, Linda and I,
这些年一直在关注你的工作 have, um, followed your work for years.
-是的 -每个人都... - Right.- Well, everyone's...
-是的 每人的 但是...-那就谢谢你们了 - Yeah, everyone's, but...- Well, thank you.
但我…你们要知道 我并没有从中得到任何乐趣 But I... I don't get any pleasure from it, you know.
这种积极性可能会遭受挫折 It can be defeating,that kind of activism.
是的 可能的 但是我不喜欢这个词 Yes, it can,but I don't like that word.
我不是... I'm not...
我不知道自己还能做些什么 I wouldn't know what else to do with myself.
你的表现令人敬仰 Your persistence is admirable.
那就谢谢了 Well, thank you.
但我们今天不是来谈这个的 But we're really not here today to talk about that.
我认为这很重要 Oh, I don't think it's not relevant.
你们也许不相信 作为一个国家 You don't believe,as a country,
我们在尽我们的义务 we are meeting our obligations.
好吧,我现在不想…在引用类似奥巴马总统的话 Well, I didn't... That...I was quoting President Obama.
不,我不想 我觉得我们在自相残杀 No, I don't. I think we're killing each other.
-我们是的 -我同意 - We are.- I don't disagree.
但这里有很多因素... But there are just so many factors that...
你要知道 这不是什么非此即彼的事情 这是... You know, it's not about one thing or the other. It...
是的 对不起 Yeah. Sorry.
不 你继续说 No. Go ahead.
只是 我答应过今天不提这件事的 It's just, I promised I wouldn't talk about it today.
-我们不必拘束 -不必 - We don't have to.- No.
这是...我能说那件 It's just...Can I just say that
这不是什么 非此即彼的问题 it's not whether it's one thing or the other.
那是谬论 That's the fallacy.
那是别人的干扰 或者说 是辩解 That's their whole distraction, or defense.
你也许听过 “不要用枪瞄准这里” You know, "Don't look over here by guns.
“要用健康的心理来注视这里” Look over there by mental health,
就好像 你也知道 不可能同时解决这两个问题 as if, you know, it's not possible to address both.
这是在侮辱 It's insulting.
是的,我们可以 但如果你的孩子想自残 Yes, we can. But if your child wanted to hurt himself,
你会只拿走 would you only remove
家里的危险物品吗? the dangerous items from the house?
不会 你会想帮他的 No. You'd want to help him.
你会想要找出问题所在 You'd want to find out what was wrong
并想要改变它 and you'd want to change that.
我们为什么要谈这个? Hey, why are we talking about this?
为什么？ What?
我们为什么要谈论这个？ Why are we talking about this?
我来这里不是为了要听这个的 I didn't come here to listen to this.
是的 好的 我很抱歉 Yeah, okay. I'm sorry.
-我无意冒犯 -哦 - I didn't mean to offend.- Oh.
我只是想我们能找到 I just think that we find,
通过互相责难 我们能改变 through blame,our means to change,
并且我还想提出质疑 and I want to question that.
我想看清一切 因为我责怪自己 I want to look at everything because I blame myself,
而我无法改变这一点 and I can't change that.
你什么意思？ What do you mean?
-我不能...-当你说 - I can't...- When you say that,
你是...当你那么说时 是什么意思？ what do you... What do you mean when you say that?
我改变不了我所做的 I can't change what I've done.
你...于是你就自责？ You... So you blame yourself?
我问一下... I'm asking...
-你有过自责吗？-嘿 - Do you blame yourself?- Hey.
别拦我 我想知道 No, I want to know.
我不是来谈他妈的什么政治的 I didn't come here to talk fucking politics.
我想知道 I wanna know.
我们不想质问 We don't wanna interrogate.
我能想象忍受他的行为有多难 I can imagine how hard it is to live with his actions.
-正是如此 -但我们的损失呢... - It is.- But our loss...
请告诉我 你这是什么意思 Please just tell me what you mean by that.
当你站在你的角度上 说到责备自己时 When you talk about blame on your part,
我想知道你指的是什么 I want to know what you're referring to.
我想说的一切都在证词中标明了 There is nothing that wasn't covered in the depositions.
但我现在想再听一遍 But I want to hear it now.
我们从没起诉过你 We never filed against you.
我们从没参与过这些 We never took part in any of that.
也许比质问更好的方法是 Maybe a better way than interrogating
-学会我们要记住的东西 -好的 好的 - is to learn what we remember.- Fine. Fine.
那你告诉我 你记住什么了 So... tell me what you remember.
告诉我 关于你的儿子的事 Tell me about your son.
你想知道什么？ What would you like to know?
一切 我想知道一切 Everything, I want to know everything.
为什么？ Why?
我为什么想知道你儿子的事？ Why do I want to know about your son?
因为他杀了我的 Because he killed mine.
你想追溯到多久以前？ How far back would you like to go?
到多久 随你们的需要 Wherever you need.
因为我可以告诉你一切 Because I can tell you everything.
但是有太多的东西 别人不会知道 But there's so much that no one will ever know.
他总是很害羞 即使是在婴儿时期 He was shy, always.Even as a baby.
我们看着他 但我并不担心 We watched him.But I wasn't concerned.
我看到了别人看不到的东西 I saw things that no one else saw.
他和别人合不来 He didn't play well with others.
这倒不是说他小气 Not that he was mean.
他只是不知道该怎么做 He just didn't seem to know how to.
后来 当他长大了 他只想出去 And later, when he was older,he only wanted to be outside.
他喜爱户外运动 He loved the outdoors.
我知道这一点 我知道 I know this. No, I know this.
我是说 他很害羞 他喜欢动物 I mean, he was shy,he loved animals.
我已经读过这些了 I've read everything.
我不知道你想让我说什么 I don't know what you want me to say.
你担心过什么吗？ What did worry you?
你说你从不担心 但有什么让你担心的？ You said you never worried,but what scared you?
我的孩子从来不让我担心 My son never scared me as a child.
我有一些照片 The photographs I have,
那些我们不想看的… the ones we don't want to look at...
我不需要看它们 可以吗？ I don't need to see them. Okay?
-那不是我们…-我不需要见他 - That's not why we...- I don't need to see him.
-当然 好的 -我想知道有什么是变化的 - Sure. Okay.- I want to know what changed.
13岁时 他开始上网 When he was 13,he started going online.
他看了那个游戏的介绍 注册了账户 He started that gaming profile, that account.
那时它们还不是暴力游戏 They weren't violent games then.
我知道 但是... I know that, but...
它们是幻想游戏 就像角色扮演 They were fantasy games, like role-play.
是的 我知道 但这仍是 Yeah, I know that.But it was still
他后来用的同一账户 the same account that he used later on.
所以我想问 是什么改变了？ So I'm just asking,what changed?
这是一个非常难回答的问题 That's very hard to answer.
-那就试着回答吧 -这不是一件事 - Well, please try.- It's not just one thing.
那就多告诉我一些事 Then tell me more than one thing.
算了吧 盖尔 我们别这样 Okay, Gail.Let's not do it like this.
-好吗？-好吧 - Okay?- Okay.
就这样吧 All right.
你是对的 You're right.
-我很抱歉 -好的 好的 只是... - I'm sorry.- Yeah, yeah. Just...
我们不要再质问了 We're not interrogating.
那你要做什么？ Then what are you doing?
我用尽可能的同情态度说 I say that as compassionately as I can.
我们在做什么？ What are we doing?
你说你需要疗伤 我们都需要 You say you want to heal.We all do.
就这样吗？ Is this how?
我认为 嗯 我们都想知道... I think, uh,we wanna know why...
这是怎么发生的 How this happened.
-对吗？-嗯 I mean, we...We need to hear that.
我的意思是,我们……我们需要听到这些 I mean, we...We need to hear that.
我们需要你们的帮助 We need your help with that.
我愿意帮助 I'm willing to help.
我们搬家了 We moved.
要说有什么改变 就是我们搬家了 You asked what changed.We moved.
我们不能确切地知道 We did,but we can't be certain
什么改变最能影响他 which changes affected him most.
新学校 新环境 The new school with a new environment.
这是非常、非常难过的 It's very, very hard.
你们也许知道 在海登成长的过程中 Hayden didn't have close friends,
他没有特别要好的朋友 growing up,as you probably know.
但到了中学 这就凸显了 But by middle school,that mattered more,
这影响了他 and it affected him.
在那个年龄 会有很多变化 A lot of things changed at that age.
我那时换了工作 I had a new job.
史蒂文正在申请大学 Steven was applying for colleges.
考虑到私立学校的学费 So we were looking at tuition costs, private schools.
我们搬家了 We moved.
我们的旧房子有更大的空间 Our older house had more space.
户外场地 但是我们的新家其实 Outdoors, but where we moved to actually
就是房子大了些 was a much bigger home.
这是事实 That's true.
但我们以前住的地方有个很大的后院 But where we were had a great backyard.
新的街坊非常好 The new neighborhood was very nice.
这里更乡村化 It was just more suburban.
有一小块土地 Plots.
那里没有他所习惯的那种自由 There wasn't the freedom he was used to.
但它很好 But it was nice.
它以前是 理查德 It was, Richard.
新学校对他来说很不适应 The new school was very hard for him,
特别是在七年级的时候 校园霸凌 seventh grade in particular.Bullying.
是的,它是…非常糟糕 Yes, it was...it was very bad.
是的 两个男孩相差几岁 Yes. And the boys were a few years apart.
史蒂文 他在高中的时候很优秀 So Steven, who was really thriving in high school,
不幸的是 他当时没有多少东西 he didn't have a lot to give Hayden
可以给海登 at that time, unfortunately.
有时我真希望孩子们能更亲密些 Sometimes I wish that the boys had been closer,
年龄更近些这样他们就能分享朋友了 closer in age so that they could've shared friends.
我们从未计划或期待再要一个孩子 We never planned or expected to have another.
我觉得他很孤独 I think he was lonely, uh,
我觉得他想念过去的日子 and I think he missed how things were.
从那时起 他开始 And that's when he began to spend
花更多的时间在电脑上 more time on the computer.
我们觉得这些游戏很有创意 The games, you know,we thought they were creative.
我们…起初我们鼓励他们玩 We...We encouraged them at first.
他可以做出选择 He could make choices.
他可以成为任何他想成为的人 He could be whatever he wanted to be.
我们可以听到他和其他人一起玩 And we could hear him playing with others,
他会笑 这让我…… and he would laugh,which made me...
我非常抱歉 I'm very sorry.
他在学校表现很好 Uh, and he was doing well in school.
我是说 是的 这让人很困惑 也很误导人 I mean, yeah, which was confusing and misleading.
他的成绩总是很好 He always had very good grades.
-他是第一名…-是的 我知道 - He was first...- Yeah, I know.
-我很抱歉 我...我就是...-没关系 - I'm sorry. I... I just...- That's fine.
我们从未公布他的任何信息 We had nothing to do with publishing his grades
等级或者分数 or scores, any of that.
是啊 你什么都没说出来 Yeah, well, you didn't speak out about anything.
我只是说… I was only saying that...
我们错误地认为他的成绩 Well, we mistakenly thought his grades were a sign
是一切正常的标志 that things were okay.
-这不是全部 -是的 理查德 - That's not all.- It is, Richard.
我们认为这才是最重要的 We thought that's what mattered.
他不合群 害怕受到伤害 He wasn't fitting in. It hurt.
好成绩让我们忽略了 The good grades made us
-其中的一些 -好了 - look past some of it.- Okay.
为什么学校什么都没说？ Why didn't the school say anything?
这是在中学里 This was middle school.
我知道 但是为什么？ I know. But why?
校方当时就不想操心 The school couldn't be bothered.
他很安静 表现也很好 He was quiet,and he was doing well.
他不需要被关注 He didn't require attention.
但是有一个老师 But there was a teacher,
一个八年级的数学老师… a math teacher in the eighth grade...
琳达 Linda.
不 No.
海登喜欢他 Hayden loved him.
我不知道这其中有什么联系 I don't know what the connection was,
也不知道为什么关系就这么好 or why it was so great.
但他却让他灰心时 感到自信 But he made him feel confident when he didn't.
我希望我已经... I wish I had...
后来他后来真的很挣扎的时候 When he was really struggling later on,
我想看看他能不能跟他谈谈 I tried to see if he could talk to him.
但他去了另一所学校 而我就没有… But he had left for another school. And I didn't...
我放弃了去找他 我... I gave up looking for him. I...
-我很抱歉 -这是...这就没事了 - I'm sorry.- That's... That's okay.
他被取笑是因为他有其他兴趣 He was teased because he had other interests.
我想这让他对其他的兴趣 I think it made him embarrassed
感到尴尬 to have those other interests.
他把与众不同看作是一种缺陷 He saw being different as a deficit,
而直到他表现出抑郁的迹象 and we didn't know it or realize it
我们才意识到这一点 until he showed signs of depression.
他之前给你的印象不是忧郁吗？ He didn't strike you as being sad before?
安静 但是没有忧郁 Quiet, but no.
-暴力倾向呢？-没有 当时没有 - Violent?- No, not then.
当我们开始担心时 我们得到了帮助 When we grew concerned,we got help.
那是什么时候？ When was that?
他的医疗记录被公开了 His medical records were made public.
我们知道时间线 我们读到的一切 We know the timeline.We read everything.
-我们想...-但能具体说吗？ - We want...- But what specifically?
这是他不愿去做的事情 It was his unwillingness to do things.
当史蒂文去上大学的时候 When Steven left for college,
他因为我们对他的关注而生气 he became angry at our attention for him.
这有什么不对吗？ What would be wrong with that?
我想他不喜欢我们的关心 I think he resented our concern.
他甚至不让我们碰他 He wouldn't even let us touch him.
所以你们帮助他了吗？ So that's when you got him help?
最终地 Eventually.
-他当时不愿意…-他从来都没有愿意过 - He didn't want to...- He never did.
我们终于逼他去见心理辅导了 We finally forced him to see someone.
我们觉得别无选择 And we didn't feel we had a choice.
但他求我们停下来 But he begged us to stop.
他恳求我们让他恢复正常 He pleaded with us to let him be normal,
或者他不再需要辅导了 or that he didn't need it anymore.
他说这些疗程让他觉得… He said the sessions made him feel not...
什么？ What?
不是人能承受的 Not human.
他是这么说的吗？ He said that?
辅导师说他不能再孤立了 The therapist said he needs to stop isolating.
这只会强化他的消极的期望 It's only reinforcing his negative expectations.
这么长时间的上网并没有加强他的人际关系 All this time online is not enhancing his relationships.
这让他更加孤独 It's making him lonelier.
所以 你们就让他停止辅导了？ So, you just let him stop going?
暂时的 For a while.
然后事情就会改变 或者发生一些事情… And then things would change or something would happen...
-就像钢管炸弹 -...我们只得 - Like the pipe bomb.- ...and we'd go through it
重新再来 是的 是的 again. Yes. Yes.
这当然是有结果的 That certainly had consequences.
结果 Consequences.
结果当时就有了 他被捕了 At the time, it did.He was arrested.
那就是没有结果 There was no consequence.
我知道这听起来很可怕 但我们都很伤心 I know how that sounds, but we were devastated.
我们尝试了所有的方法 And we tried everything.
医生够好吗？ Was the doctor good enough?
他们会开出正确的处方吗？ Would they get the prescription right?
他们采取预防措施吗？ Did they take insurance?
我的意思是 我们当然愿意支付任何费用 I mean, of course we would have paid anything,
但它实在太贵了 but it was expensive.
我只是想说 这就是现实 I'm just saying, this was the reality of how it was,
这是多么的挫败 how defeating,
即使有那么多专业的建议 and even with all the professional advice,
最终还是由我们两个人 it came down to the two of us alone,
来做选择 making the choices.
我们试了一次又一次 And we tried, over and over again.
-你可以看到 -这是真的 - You can see.- It's true.
没有关于他的犯罪 There is no new information
或医疗记录的新信息 regarding his criminal or medical records.
你们可以接触到一切 You have access to everything.
你为什么不告诉学校？ Why didn't you tell the school?
这可是在高中啊 This was high school.
我们觉得没必要这么做 We didn't have to.
他才刚刚开始.... He had just started there...
-什么？-...和... - What?- ...and...
我不想让这件事给他带来不好的影响 I didn't want it to reflect badly on him.
如果我们认为他很危险... If we thought he was dangerous...
哦 上帝 Oh, God.
-我很抱歉 -只要他能完成 - I'm sorry.- As long as he completed
-他的疗程 写出他的报告...-上帝啊 - his program, his reports...- Jesus Christ.
那个疗程算个笑话 The program was a joke.
他们犯了错误 他们漏掉了很多事儿 They made mistakes.They missed things.
我们当时都犯错了 We all did.
但是他在撒谎 But he was lying.
什么？ What?
你当时都知道了？ Did you know that?
我怀疑他隐瞒了一些事情 I suspected that he was holding things back,
但我从来 从来没有相信过…… but I never, never could have believed...
我的理解是不公开说出这件事 I understand not speaking publicly
这表明我们也有隐私 made it look like we had secrets.
我不...我...这不是什么隐私 I don't... I'm...It's not secrets
尽管我对此表示疑问 that I have doubts about, though.
这已经...都知道了 这是事实 Or facts. It's... Knowing.
这是父母的直觉 对吗？ It's parents' intuition, hmm?
你们却觉得这回伤害你们 You feel it.It should hurt you.
是的 It did.
我们得让他得到帮助 And we got him help.
我们当时不知道 We didn't know.
之后发生的一切 And everything that happened afterwards,
诉讼 媒体 the lawsuits, the media,
充斥在我们生活中的仇恨 the hate that flooded into our lives,
我们从来没有准备好面对这些 never once did we feel ready or prepared for any of it.
我们只是尽力活下去 We just did the best to survive.
为啥我们不能说呢？ So why not speak?
因为我无法回答 Because I didn't have an answer.
为什么不帮助防止这种情况再次发生呢？ Why not help prevent this from happening again?
因为我不知道怎么做 Because I don't know how.
这就是你不说实话的原因 That's why you didn't speak.
你没有答案 没有主意 You had no answers. No idea.
你们要理解 在民事法规失效之前 Just understand that until the civil statutes ran out,
我们几乎不被允许发言 we were rarely given permission to speak.
就连我们的道歉也必须措辞严谨 Even our apologies had to be worded.
琳达不能加入母亲的支持团体, Linda couldn't join a mothers' support group
因为她们担心 because they worried that
她会让其他女性处于危险之中 she'd put the other women at risk.
-处于危险中？-要去宣誓作证 - At risk?- Of being deposed.
我当时不知道会那样 I didn't know that.
那么 你看... Well, look...
很多事后发生的事情都是错误的 A lot of what happened in the aftermath was wrong.
我们现在知道,即使从一开始, We know now a lot of mistakes were made,
就有很多错误, even from the beginning,
仅仅从制度上,从法律上来说,一切都是这样 just institutionally,legally, everything.
但是我们没有起诉 But we didn't sue
我们也不打算这么做 and we're not gonna.
我们为了今天 签了所有的弃权书 We signed all those waivers for today.
我们什么都不想要 We didn't want anything.
我们只希望我们的艾文能回来 We wanted Evan back.
是的 那是不可能的 Yeah,and that was impossible.
事后看来 我们会采取不同的做法 In hindsight, we would have done things differently.
当局也会这么做的 他们也有过失 The authorities would have,too. There was negligence.
那是所有解决方案的基本点 但是... That was the basis of all the settlements, but...
你们的遗憾呢？ Where's your regret?
这就是我们想看到的 对吧？ That's what we want to see. Right?
你的遗憾在哪儿？ Where is your regret?
我对一切抱有遗憾 I regret everything.
能想象到的 最糟糕的结局已经发生了 The worst outcome imaginable happened.
假如当时我做了一点改变 Any change I might have made
都可能导致不同的结果 could have resulted in a different outcome.
我对发生的一切抱有遗憾 I regret everything.
你怎么就这么无动于衷呢？ How can you be so matter-of-fact?
我还能怎么样？ How else can I be?
我不知道 你的这种说话方式… I don't know. The way you can just talk about it so...
听着 我们决定不起诉 Look, we decided against litigation.
但并不意味着 我们不想 But that doesn't mean that we don't
看着你们也痛苦 want to see you in pain.
我们想看到你们也受到惩罚 We want to see you punished.
我们想看到你们也在受伤 We want to see that you hurt.
-就像其他人一样 -就像其他人一样 - Like everyone else.- Like everyone else.
-就像你们 -是的 就像我 像我们 - Like you.- Yeah, like me, like us.
就像我们那永远无法安睡的女儿 Like our daughter,who doesn't sleep.
杰伊... Jay...
很好 Fine.
好吧 他有一个制造钢管炸弹的男孩 Okay, he has this boy who makes a pipe bomb,
一个钢管炸弹 a pipe bomb.
他被捕 他被安排参加这个心理辅导项目 And he's arrested.He was put in this program.
我当时很害怕 I was scared.
什么？ What?
我们当时是的 理查德 We were, Richard.
我们当时很害怕 We were scared.
我当时就害怕了 I was scared.
当时你就怕了吗？ You were?
是的 I was.
他在考虑自杀之前就告诉我们了 He told us before he had contemplated suicide.
但只有在那次测试中 But it was only on that test
他才提到了杀人的想法 that he mentioned thoughts of homicide.
我们当时就被吓住了 We were scared.
但我只是看到事情发展的最好结果 But I was trying to see the best possible outcome.
我们当时应该做点什么 We should have done something then.
-现在想来...-我们当时应该做的 - Now...- We should have,
我们当时应该做的... we should have...
现在看是当然要做的了 但做什么呢？ Of course now,but what?
我不能接受 因为一枚自制炸弹 就让他 And I couldn't accept that he would throw away his future
自毁前程 琳达 求你帮我解释一下 because of a homemade bomb,Linda. Please.
这个炸弹来自何方的疑问 Where did this interest in bombs come from?
你们就一点都不惊讶吗？ Didn't it surprise you at all?
-是的 -我们不知道 - Yes.- We didn't know,
什么地方 是的 它让我们感到意外 它震惊了我们 anywhere. Yes. It surprised us. It shocked us.
他说他在网上看到的 He said he read it online.
他说他很无聊 He said he was bored.
他说这只是为了做点事 He said it was just something to do.
“我不是唯一的一个” I'm not the only one.
-什么? -是的 他是这么说的 - What?- Yes, that's what he said.
一旦制作成功 他就会引爆炸弹 And once he'd made it,he figured he'd set it off.
他回到了树林里 He went back to the woods.
就是我们曾经住过的地方 Where we used to live.
那附近没人 No one was around.
他在那里试图... He wasn't trying to...
他没有... He didn't...
我们希望是他说的那样 We hoped it was what he said it was.
后来 当我们在他的房间里找到更多的设计图时 Later on, when we found more plans in his room,
他说在国防部的炮兵工程部门 he said there was good money in artillery engineering,
有很多钱可赚 working in the Defense Department.
这是他的借口 That was his excuse.
你不会相信的 You couldn't have believed that.
我们对此一无所知 We knew nothing about it.
在一切之后,没有 After everything, no.
你怎么能相信呢? How could youhave believed that?
因为我想相信 Because I wanted to.
他告诉我一些事情 He told me things.
他做了 He did.
我以为他信任我 I thought he confided in me.
但现在我知道 他告诉我的一些事情 But now I know that some of the things he told me were
是故意欺骗我 purposefully deceitful,
让我远离他 to keep me away.
我们真的认为他在扭转局面 We really did think he was turning things around.
我们夏天有计划 We had plans for the summer.
为了上大学 For college.
我们被告知有一次…… We were told that once...
我很抱歉 I'm sorry.
...一旦有人决定了自己的命运, ...once someone decides their fate,
他们确实找到了一些幸福 they do find some happiness.
他们甚至会表现得兴高采烈 They can even appear euphoric.
过去的几个月 我们很幸福 Those last few months,we were happy.
他打消了杀人念头 He checked off homicidal thoughts.
他的心理医生说这很正常 His therapist said that was normal.
正常？ Normal?
对于一个易怒的年轻人来说 For a young man to be angry.
如果你选择忽略它 为什么还要问这个问题呢？ Why ask the question if you choose to ignore it?
是你的邻居报警了 Your neighbor called the police.
他通知了我们 而不是警方 He called us, not the police.
在一年之前 About a year before.
那是个糟糕的夜晚 That was a bad night.
我们会试着让他平静下来 We would try to calm him down,
把困扰他的事情最小化 minimize whatever it was that was bothering him.
我认为 到最后 I think that, in the end,
这可能只会加剧他的感情 it may have only intensified his feelings.
他可能很吓人 He could be frightening.
他会很容易懊恼 He would get frustrated, easily.
对他无法理解的事情感到沮丧 Frustrated with things he couldn't figure out.
而那将会... And that would...
-让他很难堪 -是的 - Embarrass him.- Yes.
他总是很难寻求帮助 And it was always hard for him to ask for help.
但是最终 他只是... But eventually, he just...
...仅仅时不再要求了 ...stopped asking entirely.
也许我对他的期望太高了 Maybe my expectations for him were too high.
我本着不再去烦他的想法 就让这事过去了 I'd let it go,thinking not to bother him.
从此之后 我... But then, I...
我只是让他走 I'd just be letting him go.
听着 我已经算检点过自己了 Look,I've done my accounting.
我听过各种批评 There isn't a criticism I haven't heard
和指责我的话 or placed upon myself.
我们不是像你说的那样无动于衷 We were not impassive,as you've said.
-什么...?-太冷淡了 - What...?- Indifferent.
你没有说出来 你什么也没说 You didn't speak out.You said nothing.
-我们发表了声明 -这是废话 - We released a statement.- That's bullshit.
“思念和祈祷” 这算啥？ Thoughts and prayers.That's it?
当我们要求隐私时 When we asked for privacy,
我们被指责隐瞒了一些实情 we were accused of hiding something.
你们不值得拥有隐私 你们不值得拥有隐私 You didn't deserve privacy.You don't deserve privacy.
你们应该说出实情 You should have said something.
我们该说什么？ What should we say?
-我在问你 -你... - I'm asking you.- You...
不 我在问你 不 No, I'm asking you. No.
-不 不 我们该说什么？-我不知道 - No, no. What would we say?- I don't know.
你刚说在事情发生时 你没有... You said that when it happened, you weren't...
那我现在问你 我们该说什么？ I'm asking you.What should we say?
说出事情发生时 That when it happened,
-你的内心早已深知的事情 -不 - that some part of you knew.- No.
我们该说什么？ What should we say?
当事情发生时 That when it happened,
那些你在内心并不感到意外的事情 that some part of you wasn't surprised.
我们当时深感意外 We were surprised.
我们都不知道会发生什么 We didn't know what happened.
我至今还不知道 I still don't know.
那天我下班回家 电话铃响了 I came home from work and the phone rang.
他的朋友打电话到他家看他是否在那里 His friend called the house to see if he was there.
我说 “你们不是都在学校吗？” I said, "Aren't you both in school?"
我并没有... I didn't...
他说 他一整天都没有看见海登 He said he hadn't seen Hayden all day,
好像要出事 that something happened.
果然就出事了 Something was happening.
我根本就没想到... I had no idea...
甚至在我打开电视的时候 Even when I turned on the television.
我在画面中看到了学校 I saw the school from above.
我...我... I... I...
...他可能在说什么 ...what he could have been talking about.
我们不知道 We didn't know.
他的朋友 好像叫阿列克斯 对吗？ His friend.This was Alex. Right?
-是的 -是的 谁知道 - Yes.- Yeah. Who knew.
不 他怀疑过 No. He suspected.
他们有他父亲的枪支 They were his father's guns.
他不知道是海登拿走的 He didn't know Hayden had taken them.
他以为……他想让你去查看 He thought... He thought to ask you to go look.
所以他一定想到了… So he must have thought about it...
他问是因为事情已经发生了 He asked because it had happened.
他在那里 我们都不知道 He was there.None of us knew yet.
“去他的卧室看看” Go and look in his bedroom.
-他说...那个盥洗室 -是的 是的 - He said... The closet.- Yes. Yes.
那就是阿列克斯 It was Alex.
他说他不接电话 He said he wasn't answering his phone
并且也见不着他 and that no one had seen him,
问我怎么回事？ could I check?
是的 我都不知道我在找什么 Yes. I didn't understand what I was even looking for.
我想他应该告诉我 I thought he would tell me.
他一直哭着说 “对不起” He just kept crying and saying, "I'm sorry."
我以为他做了什么 I thought he did something.
我们都做了 We all did.
我们中没人知道阿列克斯家有枪 None of us knew that Alex's family had guns
或者海登已经使用了枪支 or that Hayden had used them.
我们都是事后才知道的 We learned all of that after.
你当时在哪里...? Where were you when...?
我在上班 I was working.
显然 我把一些事情 I have events out of order,
搞砸了 apparently.
嗯... Um...
一个朋友 一个同事 从我的办公室打电话给我 A friend, a colleague,called me out of my office,
-电视开着…-等一下 别说了 - and the television was on...- Wait, wait. Stop. Stop.
我们不想听…我们不需要听这些 We don't wanna hear...We don't need to hear this.
我们只是想知道你为什么没有做 We just want to know why you didn't do something,
为什么你什么都没有说 why you couldn't say something.
我想要 I want to.
-要什么？-我想听 - What?- I want to hear.
那有什么意义？为什么？ What's the point? Why?
我知道 我就是想听 I know. I want to hear.
我给你打的电话 I called you.
是的 但当时这... Yes. But it was...
让我们都说不出话 hard for us to speak.
我试过了 但我做不到 I tried,but I couldn't.
我还可以说话 所以我害怕发生最坏的情况 I could tell.So I feared the worst.
但我没有… But I hadn't...
你们说 “他从没来过这里” You said, "He was never here."
他的房间 已经... His room. It was...
他的床是铺好的 His bed was made,
他的枕头上有本笔记本 and there was this notebook on his pillow.
我从未见过这个笔记本 I'd never seen it before.
它已经磨损 而且有记号 It was worn and marked.
哦 我当时真的很害怕 Oh, I was so scared.
它肯定在那里待了一整天 一整晚 It must have been there all day, all night.
我还不知道她看到了什么 I didn't know what she had seen yet.
我只是想回家 I was just trying to get home.
有一次 我想 And at one point, I thought,
“我为什么要回家？我应该去学校” Why am I going home?I need to get to the school.
然后我就接到了我姐姐打来的电话 And then I got a call from my sister.
她一直叫我靠边停车 She kept telling me to pull over,
我说我不想停车 and I said I will not.
我不想停车 就在那时 I would not stop driving, and then
我俩都哭了 we were both crying.
于是我就... So I just...
我记不得了 I don't remember.
我停在路边 I pulled on to our street,
我想那就是我想去的地方 而且… and I guess that's where I wanted to go, and...
-但我已经太晚了 -嗯 - But I was too late.- Hmm.
数以百计 都是黑色的 Hundreds of them,all in black.
那么突然 还有直升机... So sudden, and helicopters...
我都不能靠近我们家的车道 Couldn't get near our driveway,
所以我只得下车 so I just left the car.
我还是不知道是谁把它挪回来的 I still don't know who moved it back.
是的 Yeah.
他们把我们分开了 They kept us apart.
他们搜查房子的时候让我在外面等 They made me wait outside while they searched the house.
他们把我关在后院 They kept me in the backyard.
我一直说那是个错误 这是… I kept saying it was a mistake. It was...
有个年轻的警察盯着我 There was a young policeman watching me
以防我受伤 to make sure I didn't,
我是后来才知道的 I learned this after,hurt myself.
最后 我问:“我儿子死了吗?” Finally, I said,"Is my son dead?"
他说 And he said,
没有恶意地 not unkindly,
“是的 "Yes.
“但我只能告诉你那么多” But that's all I can tell you."""
好像... As if...
他们把我们分开是不对的 It was wrong what they did, keeping us apart.
这是错误的 It was wrong.
它是的 理查德 It was, Richard.
是的 他们没必要这么做 Yeah,they didn't have to.
我一直要求 要求见我妻子 I kept asking, demanding,to see my wife.
我恳求了,琳达 I begged, Linda.
这不是我们的错 理查德 It's not our fault, Richard.
这是不对的 It was wrong.
这是的 It was.
有很多次我希望他也杀了我 There were many times I wished he had killed me too.
但是他爱我们 But he loved us.
他告诉我们 He told us.
他说他很抱歉让我们经历了这些 He said he was sorry for what he would put us through.
这是在他的笔记本上写的 In his notebook.
是的 Yeah.
他也毁了你们的生活 He destroyed your lives.
我们所有人的生活 All of our lives.
他是做了 但我们对他的爱 He did. But the love we had,
也是真实的！ it was real!
事实是 我们相信自己是好父母 And the truth is, we believed we were good parents.
而且以一种可怕的 令人困惑的方式 我们仍然这样做 And in some awful,confusing way, we still do.
难道不是我 曾经还以为自己是个好妈妈吗？ Isn't it worse that I thought I was a good mother?
我爱我的孩子们 I love my children.
我和其他父母...没什么不同 Other parents...I wasn't so different.
为什么我做的事情会如此不同呢？ How did I do things so differently?
这真有点儿.... That makes it...
现在 我很难再相信任何事了 It's very hard to trust anything anymore.
我培养出了个杀人犯 I raised a murderer.
有时 我.... And sometimes I...
我不知道自己是否还在悲伤 I don't know if I'm still grieving
还是曾经真的悲伤过 or if I ever really have.
仪式是秘密进行的 The service was in secret.
当地的教堂不会纪念他 No local church would memorialize him.
理查德不得不乞求他 为儿子下葬 Richard had to beg to bury his son.
当我们最终找到一个墓地 我感到很羞愧 And when we finally found a place, I was so ashamed.
他们的仁慈... Their kindness...
你应该讲故事 我们藏 You're supposed to tell stories. We hid.
很多朋友 我们的朋友 都不知道该说什么 Many friends, our friends,didn't know what to say.
-他们都没来 -没来 - They didn't come.- No.
我们有最亲密的亲戚 好朋友 We had our closest relatives with us, good friends.
我记得我看了看钟 I remember looking at the clock.
我们被责备淹没了 We were so overwhelmed with blame.
我们的财务状况简直糟透了 Our financial situation was impossible.
悲伤就像是触不可及的东西 Grief felt like something out of reach.
我没阻止他 是因为我不知道 I didn't stop him because I didn't know.
我什么都没说 And I didn't say anything
因为我不知道该说什么 because I didn't know what to say.
而我非常抱歉 And I'm sorry.
我从没想过 我有那么多好话要说 I never thought I had enough good to say.
我也想要答案 真的 I want answers. I do.
我必须让他的行为与我 I have to reconcile his actions
深爱并抚养长大的孩子结合在一起 with the child I loved and raised.
但也许根本就无法结合 But maybe there are none.
也许我们是最不该有这种奢求的人 And maybe we're the last people to ask.
“我们知道仇恨” We know the hate.
乔伊·墨菲的父母曾经这么说过 Joy Murphy's parents used to say that.
还记得他们的教会吗? Remember their church?
"我们不需要知道仇恨的原因 因为我们知道仇恨" We need not know why the hate for we know the hate,
或者一些蠢事 or some stupid thing.
这是给我们准备的吗？ Are these for us?
我想这没问题 I'm sure it's all right.
谁还有要的？ Does anybody want one?
-不用了 谢谢 -这个房间让我喘不过气来 - No, thank you.- I can't breathe in this room.
啊 Ah.
后来的教会活动 That whole church movement thing afterwards
让我很生气 made me so angry.
什么呀？是恶魔吗？ What? The devil?
真的吗？ Really?
毫无意义 Meaningless.
相信天主教会会想出 Trust the Catholic Church to come up
最让人破产的反应 with the most bankrupt response.
原谅我 Sorry.
这是一个圣公会教堂 This is an Episcopal Church.
好吧 我不知道 我… Okay, I don't know. I'm...
我是基督徒 但我不虔诚 I'm Christian.I'm not religious.
啊 Ah.
他们在这里回收或者…？ They recycle here or...?
就扔在那里吧 Just leave it.
哈！ Huh!
至少他们首先得到了认可 At least they found acceptance first.
是的 至少他们理解了… Yeah. At least they understood it for...
我不知道 I don't know.
但对于我们这些需要理智的人来说 But for the rest of us who need reason,
我们得看看 他是什么人 we need to look at what he was.
我们只知道他有"麻烦" 却不知道他有多能干 We knew he was troubled,just not how capable.
我相信你 你没有… I believe you. You didn't...
我之所以这么问 I'm asking because
是因为一位心理医生后来告诉我们 a psychiatrist told us afterwards
他不会跟我们分享他的问题 that he wouldn't have shared his problems.
他可能做不到 那就... That he probably couldn't. That...
我们以为他会和朋友们在一起分享 We thought he might with his friends.
我们要求他这么做的 We asked him to.
他终于在高中又开始交朋友了 He finally started making friends again, in high school.
他找到了一个很好的小团体 He found a good group.
很好的团体？ A good group?
亚历克斯吗？就是那个带他看了他家的枪在哪里 Alex, who showed him where his family's guns were?
是海登偷了枪 Hayden stole those guns.
他的朋友与此事无关 His friends had nothing to do with it.
那群去射击场的人 That group that went to the gun ranges,
就是那群没日没夜地玩《使命召唤》的人 that sat up all day and night playing Call of Duty.
这是个电子游戏 他们模拟 It's a video game.They're simulations.
他们去过几次射击场？ And how many visits to the gun range?
-只去过两次 -不对 这点我们是知道的 - Only two.- No, that we know of.
和任何…你现在不用再玩 And any... You don't need to go anymore
这些游戏了 with these games now.
请允许我说完你的观点 If you'd allow me to finish addressing your point,
我只是想说 在他生命的最后 I'm just saying that by the end of his life,
无论他的内心发生了什么 他似乎很受欢迎 whatever was going on inside,he seemed popular,
-对他来说 在他的圈子里 -是的 没错 - for him, in his circle.- Fine. Sure.
好吧 但我说的不是这个 Okay, but I'm talking about something different.
我只是说, And I'm just saying
我们不知道他是多么孤立, that we couldn't know how isolated he was
因为他很受欢迎的 because he was popular.
若要不是...我想这就不是一个准确的词儿 Or not... That's not the right word, I know.
但我们不知道在他的社交生活中的 But we couldn't know the level of intimacy in his social life
亲密程度 from where he had been.
我们只是为他的社交生活感到高兴 We were just happy for him to have a social life.
好的 这种隔离… Okay. That isolation...
但他在高中被欺负 But he was bullied in high school.
不是被他的朋友们 Not by his friends.
但还是 But still.
他们都告诉警察, They all told the police
他经常谈论杀死某些学生 how often he talked about killing certain students.
他们说他们都像这样谈论过 They said they all talked like that.
他的朋友们经历了很多的欺凌 His group of friends experienced a lot of bullying.
即使那样 我也不关心 Well, that's fine.I don't care.
抱歉 如果我是想能把它分离出来 Sorry. If I could just get this out.
那种孤立 那是... That isolation, that...
即使和朋友相处,这种脱离, Even with friends,that detachment,
有时也暗示着缺乏感情,同理心 sometimes indicative of a lack of feeling, of empathy.
现在在网上增加数千小时, Now add to that thousands of hours online
没有真正的人类接触 and no real human contact.
我只是…这就是精神病医生的解释 I'm just... This is how the psychiatrist explained it.
我们懂心理学 We understand the psychology.
好吧,也许你知道 Okay, then, maybe you know about the studies
使用功能磁共振成像 大脑扫描的研究, using fMRI, brain scans,
他们说他们可以看到大脑的反应, where they say they can see a response,
或者缺乏反应 or lack of response, in the brain.
实际上 控制能力的“前额皮质层”与 There's actually less connections,
控制情绪的“杏仁体”之间没什么物质上的联系 less matter in the prefrontal cortex and the amygdala.
-杰伊 杰伊...-不 请等一下 - Jay, Jay...- No, please, wait.
我只是... I'm just...
你们听说过“镜像神经元”吗？ Have you heard of mirror neurons?
上帝啊 杰伊 我们还没资格 Jesus, Jay,we're not qualified.
我不是专家 但我在努力…我认为…… I'm not an expert, okay,but I'm trying... I think...
这可能会有用的 This could be helpful.
我不知道 基本的想法 I don't know, the basic idea.
假如我们当时能看到 If we could have seen,
我们也许就能预测到一些事情 we could have been able to predict something.
你们知道吗？那些医生们 You know, the doctors,
通过这些测试 他们就能显示出... with these tests,what they can show...
我懂 I know.
他们显示特定的画面或者词语 They show certain pictures or words
他们会引起一种反应 that should generate a response,
一种情绪或是一种感觉 an emotion or a feeling,
但是他们没有显示 but they don't.
没错 那些被诊断为精神障碍的人... Exactly. And people diagnosed with psychopathy...
我的儿子是很善于察言观色的人 My son was empathetic.
他能感觉到很多 He felt a great deal.
也许他是 Well, maybe he was.
也许你不知道他的感受 Maybe you didn't know what he was feeling.
也许他在隐瞒什么 Maybe he was hiding things.
我儿子不是精神病 My son was not a psychopath.
他只是处在极度痛苦中 He was in terrible pain.
也许无法治愈 对吧？ Maybe not treatable, right?
因为之前的治疗有用吗？ Because did anything ever work?
我是说 用了多少种治疗方法？用了多少种药物？ I mean, how many medication? Drugs?
我的意思是 如果它存在于大脑的结构中 I mean, if it's in the structure of the brain,
那么它就不仅仅是病理的 而是生理的 you know, then it's not just pathological, it's physical.
我明白你想说什么 I understand what you want to say.
所以这不是什么高中阶段 So that it's not high school,
初中阶段 搬家之类因素所导致的 middle school,moving, whatever.
是他本身 It's him.
你还记得埃文小时候吗？ Do you remember Evan as a baby?
我每天能感觉到就是 海登是我的孩子 I feel Hayden as my baby every day.
他的无助 His helplessness.
他的哭泣 接着是他的笑容 His crying, then his smile.
我不相信你说的话 I don't believe in what you're saying.
琳达 一定发生了什么事 Linda, something must have happened.
-不存在虐待 -不光指虐待 - There was no abuse.- Not just abuse.
你想说忽视吗？只要我们有时间 都会陪伴他 Neglect? We were there whenever we could be.
有时候 你们不可能做到 我知道 And sometimes, you can't be.I know that.
我们既然生下他们 但我们必须纠正 But we have to correct their course
他们的行为 when we do have them.
所以我们失败了 So we failed.
我知道这点 I know that.
我也曾试图把一切做好 And I did everything to try to correct it.
如果能陪在他身边 我愿意付出一切 And I'd give anything if I could be there with him.
你当时就在那里 You were there.
如果当时 我能知道的话 If I could have known.
但也许没人能突破成见 But maybe nobody could have broken through.
也许他无法... Maybe he wasn't capable...
不对！ No!
躁郁症 抑郁症 狂躁症 多动症 Bipolar disorder, depression,mania, ADHD,
潜在的分裂性情感紊乱 possible schizoaffective disorder.
这些都不是精神变态 None of that is psychopathy.
你不知道你在说什么 You don't know what you're talking about.
如果你把医疗记录 If you take the medical records
和犯罪报告一起拿走 with the criminal report,
现在我们终于有完整的报告了 which, now finally we have the full report,
难道你就不需要 don't you have to weigh the evidence,
在他所做的事实 the facts of what he did,
和你们以往的私人关系之间 权衡出证据吗？ against your personal relationship history with him?
他变成了那些人 He became those things.
他不是一直都是这样的 He wasn't always those things.
那你们可以查到他 Well, you can trace how far back
从什么时候开始策划的 to when he started planning it.
看在上帝的份上 我们可以追踪他的足迹 We can trace his footsteps,for Christ's sake.
我觉得时间线 I don't think the timeline
和他的精神状态 definitively proves anything
没有相关性 about his mental state.
你怎么能这么说？ How can you say that?
我们不是在否认他的行为或他的身份 We're not denying what he did or who he became.
那就是我 不小心听见 你们在责怪 Well, I can't help but hear you blame
一个所谓“正常”的孩子 a not abnormal child.
他是我的儿子 He was my son.
我无法从我们的历史 I can't remove my feelings
或他的记录中去除我的感情 from our history or his records.
我没有要求你这样做 I'm not asking you to.
我是说他的所作所为 他的杀人能力 I'm saying that what he did,his capacity for murder,
很可能早在别人知道之前 was probably potentially there a long time
就存在了 before anyone could have known.
你认为你可以用一个词来赋予在某件事物上 You think you can attach one word to something
以便理解它吗？ in order to understand it?
让你有安全感吗？ To make you feel safe?
好吧 我不说了 Well, I won't say it.
我就不相信 I don't believe it.
这可不简单 It's not simple.
它是你看不到的一切 It's everything you cannot see.
这让他很无助 他是无助的 And it left him helpless.He was helpless.
但我们的工作就是帮忙 But it's our job to help.
这是我们的工作 在某种程度上 That's our job.And at some point,
你是否看到这些迹象并不重要 it doesn't matter whether or not you see the signs.
我们仍然…这仍然是我们的义务 We still...It's still our obligation.
我说我失败了 I said I failed.
也许你不知道你在和谁打交道 Maybe you didn't know who you were dealing with.
听着 报告已经说明了一切 Look, the report speaks for itself.
但他已经离世了 他曾经是那样 He was gone by then. He was.
我是说 深思熟虑的选择 I mean,the deliberate choices.
-他没有目标 -什么？ - He did not target.- What?
-什么...？-什么是你说的目...什么？ - What...?- What are you ta... What?
这有什么区别吗？ What difference does that make?
要是他 也会这么说的 He would have said so.
什么？那怎样才能更好？ What? Well,how is that better?
什么?你说他没有目标 是什么意思？ What? What do you mean,he did not target?
他从来没有见过他们中的任何一人 He never met any of them.
上帝啊 哦 那是他的学校 Jesus Christ.Oh, it was his school.
他的同学们 His students.
他从来没进过那个教室 He'd never been in that classroom.
他想杀了他们 He wanted to kill them.
那些学生 他们不是他的同年级 Those students, they weren't in his grade.
-艾文...-别说了 别 别再说了 - Evan...- Don't. No, no, don't.
-我只是说...-别说了 - I'm just saying...- Just don't.
-我只是说 -那就别说了 - I'm just saying.- Well, don't.
-好吧 -他都没听说过他们 - Okay.- He didn't know them.
-他想让他们受苦 -哦,杰依 - He wanted them to suffer.- Oh, Jay.
-但是不...-什么？ - But not...- What?
故意的?这就是你想说的吗？ Intentionally? Is that what you were gonna say?
他并不想让任何一个人遭受痛苦 He didn't seek to make any one individual suffer.
那就是我儿子活该倒霉了 Well, my son suffered.
埃文受了那么多苦 却他却替他儿子开辩 Evan suffered so much, and he let him.
我想你们两位抱歉 I'm sorry.Both of you.
-不...-我知道发生了什么 - No...- I know what happened.
-什么 -不 你别 - Wait.- No, you don't.
他做了我所知道的最可怕的事 He did the most awful thing I've ever known,
但我知道那份报告 but I know the report.
不!你不知道我儿子是怎么死的！ No! You do not know how my son died!
上帝 God.
他在下午1点29分进了埃文的教室 He entered Evan's classroom at 1:29 p.m.
他把一枚炸弹扔到桌子中间 He threw a bomb into the center of the desks.
他开始射击 He started shooting.
他在那儿呆了半分钟 He stayed there for half a minute.
他本可以把他们都杀了 He could have killed them all.
他选择不这么做 他看着他们 He chose not to.He watched them.
他们看到了他的脸 他们看见他在看 They saw his face.They saw him looking.
他知道埃文还活着 He knew Evan was alive.
当他离开时 他清楚地知道 谁活着 谁死了 He knew exactly who was alive and who was dead when he left.
我们永远也看不见那间教室里的真相 We could never see into that classroom.
不 他惨遭毒手 No, he suffered.
足足有六分钟 Six minutes.
六分钟后 他回来了 Six minutes later,he comes back,
你的儿子 他循原路返回 your son,he retraces his steps.
他又在走廊里了 He's in the hallway again.
1:35 他回来后继续干了 1:35, he's come back to finish.
埃文还在那里 And Evan is there.
最后一声枪响在1：36 The last gunshot, 1:36,
子弹进入我儿子的… goes into my son's...
脖颈 neck.
射穿他的动脉 Into his artery.
-杰伊...-不 足有六分钟 - Jay...- No. Six minutes.
他还活着 他想出去 He was alive.He was trying to get out.
血迹表明他曾试图… The blood trails show where he was trying to...
-杰 别说了 -不！ - Jay, please stop.- No!
他有条不紊地回来了 He came back.He was methodical.
他在查看 He was looking.
而艾文... And Evan...
...当时还活着 ...was still alive.
我知道 I know.
你不知道 You do not know.
我知道！ I know!
我知道 I know.
地板上的血迹 The streaks on the floor.
他爬行的样子 The way he was crawling.
我甚至知道 I know the wounds,
伤口的顺序 in what order.
知道他如何挣扎 How he fought.
知道他怎么死的 And how he died.
不 Nah.
他死了 He died.
现在 请停下来 Now, please stop.
请停下来 Please stop.
卡洛琳 乔纳森和托里在爆炸中 Caroline, Jonathan,and Tory were killed instantly
当场死亡 in the blast.
丹尼尔 中了三枪 Daniel, shot three times,
肺部两枪 心脏一枪 twice in the lungs,once in the heart.
他死在书桌前 He died seated at his desk.
朱莉安娜 腿部中了两枪 一枪在膝盖 Juliana, shot twice in the leg, once in the knee,
一枪在大腿 once in the thigh,
射中股动脉 the femoral artery.
你在做什么？ What are you doing?
她眼睛被碎玻璃扎中 失去了视力 She lost her vision from the glass in her eyes.
她试图爬出教室 She tried to crawl out of the classroom.
但她还没找到路就死了 But she died before finding the way.
行了 Okay.
凡妮莎,被射中四次 Vanessa,shot four times,
腹部中了两枪 头部中了两枪 twice in the abdomen,twice in the head.
我们知道你很清楚 We understand you know.
受害者和伤者 The victims, and the wounded.
我很抱歉 I'm sorry.
但我确实很清楚 But I do know.
所有的受害人 All of them.
我清楚埃文 他那天的故事 I know Evan,his story that day.
我也知道海登的故事 And I know Hayden's.
他确实回去了 He did go back.
他要去图书馆 他想死在那里 He was going to the library,where he wanted to die.
他告诉我们 在他的笔记本上给我们写了遗书 He told us, wrote to us in his notebook.
“你可以在那里找到我 那里对我来说是安静的” That's where you'll find me.Where it's quiet for me.
那里 还很有尊严 Where, respectfully,
最后一枪是在1：41 the last shot was at 1:41.
就在图书馆 In the library.
人们都看见了 孩子们也都看见了 People saw. Kids saw.
-克里斯多夫...-头部中弹 - Christopher...- Shot in the head.
我知道 I know.
我的儿子 My son.
子弹射进了他的脸 Shot in the face,
躲在桌子底下 求他饶他一命 hiding underneath the table,begging for his life.
他们就是这么说的 That is what they said.
这是……那不是情感 That's... That's not feeling.
-那是仇恨 -那是... - That is hate.- That's...
混乱？仇恨？愤怒？ Disturbed? Hate? Rage?
-无助？-不 不 不 - Hopelessness?- No, no, no.
冷淡 冷漠 Apathy, indifference.
-冷静 冷酷 -邪恶？ - Cold, callous.- Evil?
这是你想说的？ Do you want to say?
因为我... Because I...
我不想 I won't.
这已经不重要了 It doesn't matter.
我们去了学校 你知道吗? We went to the school. Did you know that?
这本该是给受害者家属的 It was supposed to be for the victims' families,
海登不会被算作受害者 and Hayden wouldn't be counted as a victim.
我们为之争取过 So we fought for that.
我们看见了 看见了那些损害 And we saw, we saw the damage.
那些窗户 那些黑漆 The windows, the black stains.
我们看见了他的仇恨 We saw his hate.
-那些线条 -他所干的 什么？ - The lines.- What he did. What?
那些线条或者胶布 The lines or tape.
勾画出孩子们的轮廓 The outlines of the children.
-还有莫尔先生的 -嗯 - Mr. Moore.- Hmm.
那些尸体轮廓 是的 The bodies. Yeah.
我当时... I was...
我不知道你们可以进去 I didn't know you were allowed in.
那就是校方保守了这个秘密 他们不希望… Well, they kept that secret.They didn't want...
引起更多的不满 More outrage.
全世界都在为10个人默哀 The world mourned 10.
我们为11个人默哀 We mourned 11.
不会有人为11个死者举行追悼 There would be no memorials for 11.
没有11个人的追悼音乐会 这点我能理解 No concerts reading 11 names,and I understood that,
但我也不能把他排除在外 but I would not be excluded from that too.
尽管 那些损害... The damage, though...
多惨痛啊... How much...
他也是在痛苦中死去的 He was in pain.
是痛苦把他带到了那里 It was the pain that brought him there.
我不想再要另一个孩子 I didn't want another child.
但是... But...
他刚一降生... once he was born...
我那时是多么地爱着海登 I loved Hayden so much.
但是 也许... But maybe...
也许 他就不应该降生 Maybe he should never have been born.
不对 No.
我们就不该转学去那所学校 We should never have gone to the school.
我只记得 那里有一种可怕的敬畏感 I just remember this terrible feeling of awe,
那种敬畏感 和我孩子感觉的一样 just awe at what my boy had done.
然后是地毯上勾勒出的瘦长的轮廓 And then a long, skinny frame outlined in the carpet.
独自在那里时 All alone.
我知道他也是那样的感受 I knew it was him.
不是因为它在哪里 或者… Not because of where it was or...
我只是和他感同身受 I just knew it was him.
我也认出了埃文的位置 I recognized Evan too.
不是凭着那些线条 Not because of the lines.
是那个号码 The number.
那个号码是按照警方报告标记的 The number markers for the report.
是的 Yeah.
他是第一号 He was number one.
我想他是第一个被发现的死者 I guess he was the first they found.
他是... He was...
他是我的... He was my...
这太难受了 That was hard.
是的 It was.
但请你们原谅我 But you know,and please forgive me,
这让我觉得自己和你们一样 it made me feel like the rest of you.
有些家长说 Some parent said,
我无法记得是谁 I can't remember who,
一开始 话说的口气很刻薄 意思也很刻薄 said early on in a mean way,meant to be mean,
说你们是这个世界上最孤独的人 that you were the loneliest people in the world.
好像这就代表了正义 好像... As if that was justice.As if...
好吧 我们就是 Well, we were.
我仍能收到E-mail I still get mail.
有些表达憎恶,有些表达同情 Some hateful,some sympathetic.
大多数只是陌生人 Mostly just strange.
我不能说 我理解了这些邮件的目的 I can't say I understand the purpose of it,
但这提醒我 记住我儿子所犯下的罪行 but it only reminded me of what he had done.
我试着恢复我对他的记忆…他到底是谁 And I was trying to restore my memory of... of who he was.
这就是我必须要做的 And that's what I have to do.
你们能理解吗？ Do you understand?
你说过 他毁了你们的生活 You said he destroyed our lives.
是的 他是的 Yes, he did.
虽然我知道 要是没有生下他 And while I know the world
这个世界会更好 would have been better without him,
但我不能说 我会更好 I can't say I would have been.
哦 上帝 Oh, God.
我很抱歉 我知道这... I'm sorry.I know that's...
-不 -我不应该那样说 - No.- I shouldn't have said that.
它只是…它只是… It's just... It's just...
我以为 我必须相信 I thought I had to believe
我儿子的生命是毫无价值的 that my son's life had no value
因为他死前的所作所为 because of what he did before he died,
但我不必相信 对吧? but I don't have to believe that, do I?
还是说 这让你听起来很难受？ Or is that hard for you to hear?
我想 I guess.
是的 它是的 Yes, it is.
但我不会告诉你 如何留住你们的儿子的记忆 But I won't tell you how to keep your son.
不 我... No. I...
不 我也不知道 我... No, I don't know. I...
是的 这很难 Yes, it is hard.
但是 不 我想... But, no, I think...
我想这是对的 我... I think that's right. I...
上帝 我不...我不知道 God, I don't... I don't know.
这就行了 That's okay.
我从没想过 你会有这种感觉 I wouldn't ever expect you to feel that way.
不 不 这不是的 这不是 No, no, that's not it.That's not it.
不是...不是指你们的儿子 Not... Not your son.
不是指 Not
他本人 him.
这指的是... It's...
价值 value.
一切都有他们的价值 It's all of their values.
你看 我... See, I...
我许下了承诺 我向你儿子许下陈诺 I made a promise.I made a promise to him.
我不能遵守了... That I can't keep...
-嘿 亲爱的 -不 请别...打断我 - Hey, honey.- No, it... Please.
你许诺了他什么？ What did you promise him?
我向他许诺 他的生命将会意味着某些事情 I promised him that his life would mean something,
不会白费的 that it wouldn't be in vain.
都是因为他 所有人 That because of him,all of them,
的生活改变了 你们知道吗？ things would change, you know?
但是没有什么会改变 没有什么 But nothing's changed.Nothing.
唯一的区别是他们已经离世了 The only difference is that they're gone.
这是我及其他所有的父母 始终听到的 And that's all I hear. Still.All those parents.
就像在着火的房子中 我们是待到最后的人 The last of us in that firehouse,
也是在世界上最孤独的人 别人会问 the loneliest people in the world, asking,
“你这是什么意思？别人已经走了 "What do you mean,they're gone?
“走到哪里了？ Gone where?"
“他们去哪里了？” Where have they gone?
所以…你谈到价值 他们的失去生命要有价值 So... you talk about value,their lives having value,
这就是我想要说的 and that's all I want.
我就是想让它有意义 我就是… I just want it to mean something. I just...
我就是…想要改变这个 I just... I want it to change.
为什么这必须要改变？ Why does it have to change?
什么？ What?
你能跟我说说埃文的故事吗？ Can you tell me a story about Evan?
什么？ What?
求你了 你能告诉我关于他的故事吗？ Please? Can you tell me a story about him?
现在？ Now?
是的 Yeah.
杰伊...我不知道 这太多了 Jay... I don't know.There's so many.
没关系 别想太多了 Doesn't matter.Just don't think about it.
-就跟我说一个 -杰伊... - Just tell me one.- Jay...
-不行 你来 你来...-没关系 没关系,亲爱的 - No, come, come...- It's okay. It's okay, honey.
-继续 -不行 你到这儿来 - Go on.- No, come here.
-来 到这儿来 -好的 - Come, come here.- Okay.
-来 -好的 好的 - Come.- Okay, okay.
-哦 上帝 -我来了 - Oh, Jesus.- I got you.
好吧 好吧 好吧 好吧 我明白了 嗯... Okay. Okay, okay.Okay. I see, um...
哦...让我想想 Oh... let me think.
哦 Oh.
我想那是他在12岁的时候 He's 12 years old, I think.
他那时12岁 He's 12 years old.
嗯... Um...
六年级吧？ Sixth grade?
我不记得了 他当时很小 而且... I don't know.He's young, and...
那是秋季 他... It's fall. He's...
他正在公园里和他的朋友们玩橄榄球 He's playing football with his friends in the park,
就在我家附近 这是... near our house. It's...
他过去常在我们家附近的公园里玩 这是,嗯… He used to play in the park near our house. It's, um...
在星期天 On Sundays, you know.
离我们家只有几个街区 Just a few blocks from our home.
但我们要去参加晚宴 But we had a dinner to go to.
去拜访杰伊的父母家 Jay's parents were visiting.
所以我跟他说 “别弄得太脏了 So I said to him,"Do not get too dirty,
“因为我们得在5点前离开家” because we've got to leave the house by 5:00.
他说 “妈妈 And he said, "Mom,
“我弄得越脏越好 "the dirtier you are,the better you are.
“这样你就会发现 That's how you spot"
“我是球队里最卖力的球员 "the best players on the team.
“他们的衣服上有草 They're the ones with the grass"
“和污渍” and the stains on their jerseys.
我说... And I said...
我... I...
他太逗了 He was so funny.
我说 “难道最棒的队员是不应该被扑倒 I said, "But shouldn't the good players not be tackled
在地上那么多次吗？” and fall on the ground so much?
“不对 妈妈 越脏说明你表现的越出色” No, Mom, the dirtier you are,the better you are.
“好吧” Okay.
你要知道 他对任何事都是那样 You know, he was like that about everything,
观点如此强烈 such strong opinions,
即使他根本不知道 even if he didn't know anything
自己在说什么 about what he was talking about.
谢谢你 Thank you.
于是... So...
于是就在五点 或者还不到五点 So it's 5:00,or it's about to be.
都快五点了 他还没回来 It's almost 5:00,and he's still not back,
我正要过去抓他 and I'm about to just go down there and grab him,
抓他回家 and drag him back,
这时苏菲走进门来 when Sophie comes in the door.
那个时候 她总屁颠屁颠跟着埃文 She followed Evan everywhere back then.
她喜欢看男孩子们玩耍 嬉戏 She loved watching the boys playing, goof around.
所以她冲进来说 So she burst in and she says,
“妈妈 哦 我的天啊 妈妈 快去看看埃文” Mom, oh, my gosh.Mom. Look at Evan.
所以我转过街角 看到了他 So I come around the corner,and I see him,
他从头到脚都是泥 and he is covered,head to toe, in mud.
-这太滑稽了 -是有点儿 - It was absurd.- It was.
他好像把自己盖住了 像个泥浴 It was like he covered himself, like a mud bath.
这根本说不通 It just didn't really even make sense even,
我就…我失去了克制 and I was... I lost it.
“埃文 你都干了些啥？” Evan. What have you done?
他完全不为所动 He was completely unfazed.
是的 对吗？ Yeah. Right?
他表现得很冷静 He played it cool.
“妈妈 我告诉过你 最好的球员是最脏的” Mom, I told you, the best players are the dirtiest.
他就是... He was...
你知道吗？ You know?
我都气疯了 I was so mad.
接着我就笑了 But then I was laughing.
搂住了他 And holding him,
带着一身土 and the dirt,
和草 the grass.
他身上的的那股 That smell of him.
湿草的气味 Wet leaves.
他身上的那股稚气 The child on him.
我能感受到如此强烈的生命力 I could feel so much life.
我们就这样让他去赴宴了 We let him go to dinner that way.
-他洗了脸 -是的 但是... - He washed his face.- Well, yeah. But...
他很自豪 He was so proud.
这就是他生命的意义 That's what his life meant.
愿他安息 Let him rest.
埃文不需要改变世界 Evan doesn't have to change the world.
但是我还是想念他 But I still miss him.
你还记得你给我写了什么吗？ Do you remember what you wrote to me?
哦 上帝 Oh, God.
我给你写了很多 I wrote you way too much.
你给我写了 You wrote to me,
“我想让你了解我的儿子 "I want you to know my son.
“我想让你知道他的名字” I want you to know his name."""
是的 Yeah.
你有什么故事吗？ Do you have a story?
哦 上帝 Oh, God.
我 呃... I, uh...
所有的 All of them.
我... I...
让我们保存它们在心中吧 好吗？ Let's just preserve them.Okay?
杰伊 Jay.
什么？ Yeah?
我想 我应该... I think I need to...
什么？ What?
我想我准备好了 I think I'm ready.
好的 Okay.
我需要告诉你们... I need to tell you...
我非常非常想 I wanted so, so badly
让你们成为榜样 或者受到惩罚 for you to be an example or punished.
我来这里就是为了这个 I came here wanting that.
但我们每个人心中都有某种东西死去了 我们每个人 But something's died in all of us, all of us.
我非常担心我想要的 And I'm so scared that what I wanted,
我所需的 不是我原本认为的那样 what I need,isn't what I thought.
你原本认为是什么样的？ What did you think?
那就是 如果我原谅了你们 我就会失去我儿子 That if I forgave you,I'd lose him.
哦 不 Oh. No.
是的 Yes.
但也许我只是需要和你们在一起 But maybe I just needed to be with you.
因为我现在知道了 我… Because I know now. I...
我原谅你们 I forgive you.
我是真的 I do.
我已经 我原谅了你们 I have. I forgive you.
而我必须告诉你们... And I have to tell you...
我必须告诉你们... I have to tell you...
我也原谅了海登 I also forgive Hayden
原谅他所做的 原谅他夺走了我儿子的性命 for what he did, for taking my baby's life.
因为我知道 在我心里 他已经迷失了 Because I know, in my heart,he was lost.
所以我就…我原谅他 So I do... I forgive him.
因为我不能再这样生活下去了 Because I can't live this way anymore.
-亲爱的 -不 我不能 我们不能再这样生活下去了 - Sweetheart.- No, I can't. We can't.
-好吧 -我们无法入睡 - Okay.- We don't sleep.
我们不能呼吸 We don't breathe.
我们再也不能互相对视 We don't see each other anymore,
可是 我想要正常生活 我想要 and I want to. I want to.
-好了吗？-是的 - Okay? - Yeah.
因为我不能再坚持下去了 Because I can't hold on to this any longer.
我不能 这不是他 这不是 I can't. It's not him. It's not.
只是愿望能有个不同的过去 It's just this terrible pain
让我很痛苦 for wishing for a different past,
我不能再让痛苦控制我的生活 and I can't let it control my life anymore,
因为如果我这样做了 我害怕我再也见不到他了 because if I do, I'm afraid I'll never see him again.
我需要这么做 And I need to.
我知道我会的 我知道我会见到他的 I know that I will.I know I'll see him.
我知道 如果我能原谅海登 我一定会让埃文对我不满 I know I'll hold him against me, if I could just forgive.
如果我能再爱一次 If I can love again.
所以我愿意 So I do.
我愿意 I do.
也许这是对的 Maybe this is right.
这一刻的沉默 This moment of silence.
也许这才是,说再见的恰当方式 Maybe this is the right way to say goodbye.
是的 Yeah.
我喜欢这样 I like that.
你是否想要...？ Do you want to...?
也许我们可以做个祈祷…？ Maybe we could do a little, uh...?
好的 Yeah.
嗯 Mmm.
那么... Well...
希望我们能帮上忙 I hope we were able to help.
谢谢 Thanks.
我想说 就...就这样吧？ I mean, is... Is that it?
我想是的 我累坏了 I think so. I'm exhausted.
好吧 我想 呃…你知道的… Well, I guess, uh...You know...
我们可以再聊 We can always speak again.
-必须的 -好吗？ - Sure. - Right?
当然 Of course.
谢谢你把照片带来 Thank you so much for bringing your pictures.
哦 不 当然 谢谢你！ Oh, no, of course. Thank you.
谢谢你们的花 Thank you for the flowers.
不客气 You're welcome.
他们能旅行吗?带着这些花？ Will they be able to travel?The flowers?
我不想让你们太麻烦… I don't want you to have to...
哦 不 哦们会搞定的 Oh, no. We'll manage.
是的 必须的 Yeah, sure.
那么... Well...
也许肯德拉能给你拿个盒子什么的 Uh, maybe Kendra can get you a box or something.
我不想让你们太… I don't want you to have to...
我很抱歉 我早该想到这一点 I'm so sorry. I should have thought of that.
不,不 这是…我们可以随身携带着它们 对吧？ No, no. It's... We could just carry them, right?
是的 或者只是在这里工作的那个女人 Yeah. Or just the woman that works here,
她也许能找到点什么 she may be able to find something.
哦 我想我没见过她 Oh. I don't think I've met her.
-我去看看 -啊 - Let me go see.- Ah.
我不知道我当时在想什么 我很抱歉 I don't know what I was thinking. I'm sorry.
-我真傻 -这没事 - Silly of me.- It's fine.
有人想要… Does anybody want...
你需要一瓶水在路上喝吗？ You want a water bottle for the road?
噢,谢谢你 我都准备好了 Oh, thank you. I'm all set.
他们有准备咖啡 They have coffee.
你想要咖啡吗？ You want a coffee?
-不需要 -那好吧 OK了 - Nah. - All right. Okay.
我想我去看看能不能帮他一把 I think I'll just see if I can give him a hand.
必须的 Sure.
好的 Okay.
那我们在门口见 I will see you out front then.
-是的 -好的 - Yeah. - Okay.
嗨 琳达 Hi, Linda.
你好 Hello.
嗯 Hmm.
我马上就回来 我拿到花了 I'll be right back.I've got the flowers.
-然后…-嗯 - And then...- Mmm-hmm.
-我们要不要…?-是的 - Should we, uh...?- Yeah.
我马上就到 I'll be right there.
你有报纸吗? Do you have newspaper?
是啊 请别麻烦了 Yeah, please don't go to any trouble.
我很抱歉 我早该想到这一点 I'm so sorry.I should have thought of that.
他们把新的赞美诗册装在一个盒子里拿来 They brought the new hymnal books in a box.
哦 是的 这是个好主意 Oh, yes,that's a great idea.
-谢谢 -哦 当然 - Thank you.- Oh, of course.
我去楼下看看 I'm going to go check downstairs
还有没有别的事 to see if there's something else.
-谢谢你 伙计们 -好的 - Thank you, guys.- Okay.
-那么...-我想我们是在等 - Well...- I guess we're waiting for,
-呃...-是的 - uh...- Yeah.
呃 那么 谢谢你俩今天的所为 Um, well,thank you both for today,
当然还要感谢肯德拉 and Kendra, of course.
哦 这是我乐意效劳的 Oh,it was my pleasure.
如果你们不介意 我该走了 If you don't mind,I should go.
哦 当然 你知道…… Oh, sure, you know...
琳达 我真的该回去了 Linda, I should really get back.
好的 Okay.
我可以自己走回去 如果你… I can walk back without you if you...
不 不 不 我能... No, no, no, I can...
-我可以和你一起去 -好的 好吧 - I can go with you.- All right. Okay.
我们之前一起来的 We walked here together earlier.
这是,嗯… It was, um...
请照顾好你们自己 Please take good care of yourselves.
-谢谢 -还有你 理查德 - Thank you.- And you, Richard.
-我们会留下的 对吧?-是的 - We're gonna stay, right?- Yeah.
我们会一直在这里 我的意思是… We're always here. I mean...
保持联系 Just stay in touch.
好 Good.
很高兴再次见到你 It's nice to see you again.
保重 Take care.
如果你们能过来的话 Uh,it's easier if you guys
会好很多 也许 带着花? would come down here,maybe, with the flowers?
是的,当然 好主意 Yeah, sure. Good idea.
我觉得这个可能合适 I think that this might be the right one.
如果我们放一点报纸进去 If we just put a little bit of newspaper in it.
这真的很好 不要麻烦你自己 Fine. Sure.Don't trouble yourself.
好的 Okay.
嗯 嗨 Um. Hi.
哦,他们…他们离开了吗？ Oh, did they...Did they leave?
是的 他们走了 但是要谢谢你们 Yeah, they left,but thank you.
哦 Oh.
这是他们送我们的礼物 所以… They're a gift,they're ours, so...
我就是想来告别一下 I was just hoping to say goodbye, is all.
我甚至都没有向他们做自我介绍 I didn't even introduce myself to them.
-没关系 -别担心 - It's okay.- Don't worry about it.
-我保证这会没事的 -好的...不 我应该的 - I'm sure it's fine.- Yeah... No, I should have.
这就...这就很好 That's... That's fine.
非常感谢你们 为我们提供了地点并邀请了我们 Thanks so much for giving us the space and for having us.
-这次真的非常...-希望这次能愈疗伤痛 - It's really very...- It's healing here.
真的 这里很安静 It really is. It's safe here.
不管你来自哪里 Wherever you come from.
我想我们可以把它放在这里 So, I think we can put it in here
如果我们再塞进一些报纸 if we just put a little bit of newspaper.
-朱迪？-什么事？ - Judy?- Yeah?
对不起 呃 Pardon me. Uh,
他们要把剩下的书带到圣托马斯 they're bringing the rest of the books to St. Thomas.
-所以他们需要纸箱子 -哦 好的 好的 - So they need the boxes.- Oh, okay. Okay.
说真的... Honestly...
但我们不能在这里用报纸吗？ But can't we just use newspaper in here?
我会用气泡包装袋 I would use bubble wrap.
-我不这么认为...-我真的... - I don't think...- I really...
我真的不想打扰你们 I don't want you to bother.
不 我很容易就能把它包好的 No, I can pack it. It's easy.
用一点报纸就可以了 Just use a little bit of newspaper in it.
你有多少报纸呢？ Well, how much newspaper do you have?
你知道吗?我还是抱着它吧 You know what? I'm just gonna hold on to them.
-我想这样做 是的 -你确定吗？ - I want to. Yeah.- Are you sure?
我没事 我想这样更好些 I am.I think it'll be nice.
-好吧 我有点儿不好意思 -那么... - Okay. I'm sorry.- Well...
非常高兴能见到你们两位热心人 So, it was very nice to meet you both.
-哦 -嗯 - Oh.- Um,
谢谢你们所做的一切... thank you for everything and...
我有个故事要告诉你 I have a story I want to tell you.
哦 好的 Oh, okay.
我想听 I want to hear it.
在他16岁时 He was 16.
他有一周过得很糟糕 He'd had such a bad week.
我为他感到很难过 I felt so badly for him.
那些孩子怎么会那么残酷 How cruel kids could be.
但我又不能让他情绪崩溃 But I couldn't just let him fall apart.
不能 No.
我们感到很孤独 We were alone.
理查德每天工作到很晚 Richard was working late.
我做了晚饭 但他不想吃 I made dinner,but he wouldn't eat.
我想跟他谈谈 但是他不想 I tried to talk to him,but he wouldn't talk.
我去了他的房间 他在电脑上 I went to his room.He was on the computer.
我责怪他 “你必须开始干点儿正事儿了 I yelled at him,"You have to start working.
“如果你不能快乐 至少你可以做得好” If you can't be happy,at least you can do well.
他对我尖叫 “我不想快乐 He screamed at me,"I don't want to be happy.
“我也不想做的好” I don't want to do well.
“为什么？”我喊道 Why? I yelled.
“为什么？” Why?
然后我们朝着对方大吼大叫 Then we were screaming at each other.
我们都...很伤心 We were both... so hurt.
我还记得 And we were afraid.
我们都很害怕 I know that.
事情发生得非常快 It happened very quickly.
然后他说 “在我揍你之前 滚出去 But then he said,"Get out before I hit you.
“在我把你走得屁滚尿流之前 滚出去” Get out before I beat the shit out of you.
我向上帝发誓... I swear to God...
他当时...很恐怖 He was... terrifying.
我回到了我的房间... I went to my room...
我锁上了门 and I locked the door.
盖尔... Gail...
我真希望 就放任他做 I wish I had let him.
我真希望 我当时说“打我吧 I wish I had said,"Okay, hit me.
“你打我吧 亲爱的 "You hit me, sweetheart.
“你想打多久就打多久” Hit me for as long as you'll ever need."""
因为那样我就认清他了 Because then I would have known him.
我就会知道他 到底是怎么回事 I would have known who he really was.
没事了 It's okay.
我的这个... Mine's a...
是一个不同的故事... different kind of story but...
不 No.
我们都想念他们 We miss them.
-我也想讲个故事 -我知道 - I wanted to tell a story too.- I know.
对不起 我没有要求你 I'm sorry I didn't ask.
谢谢你 Thank you.
我们应该... We should...
我们是不是该 呃...？ Should we, uh...?
我想我们应该让他们走 I thought we'd let them go.
这是个好主意 That's a good idea.
这是什么？ What is that?
对不起 Sorry.
它是来自...? Is that coming from...?
是的 他们为明天的 Yeah, they're,um, practicing
唱诗班活动排练 for the choir tomorrow.
我...我都忘了 I... I forgot.
我们跟他们说了吗？ Did we tell them?
我今早告诉过你 他们今天在排练 I told you this morning they were rehearsing today.
是吗？ Did you?
我很抱歉 I'm sorry.
不用 这是…这很好 Don't be. It's... It's nice.
是的 他们在为明天排练 Yeah, they're, um,rehearsing for tomorrow.
听见了吗？ Hear that?
他们在唱 They're singing.
你们想上去看看吗？ Do you want to go up and see?
祝福我们的心灵 Blessed be the tie that binds
因为它们联系着上帝的爱 Our hearts in Christian love
我们的友谊如同 The fellowship
相亲相爱的一家人 Of kindred minds
不用了 这样就很好 No. That's all right.
就像来自上苍的声音 Is like that to that above
在天父的庄严之前 Before our Father's throne
我们尽情地祈祷 We pour our ardent prayers
说出我们的恐惧 我们的期望 Our fears, our hopes
我们有同一个目标 Our aims are one
为了我们的安逸 Our comforts
和我们的关爱 And our cares
当我们分裂时 When we asunder part
我们的内心会感受痛苦 It gives us inward pain
是要我们还能在心中 But we shall still be joined
再次凝结 In heart
希望就会重新出现 And hope to meet again